Hallmark Hall of Fame

Or at least that is where this starts. I should never watch one of those shows. I bet I went through a half box of Kleenex last night watching “The Russell Girl”. Even the flipping commercials made me cry.

I think last night’s movie was too close too home. A girl, who was living in Chicago on her own, who had apparently applied to medical school and been turned and was working as a buyer for some merchant, learned that she had an extremely aggressive form of leukemia. Her primary doctor scheduled her for an oncology appointment in three days. Instead she called her mother and drove all night to her home town. I didn’t get where that was. The blurb said she learned she was sick and went home to tell her parents and to face a tragedy from the past. I had NO idea what was coming.

She got home and as she walked in the house, her parents were ecstatic, they apologized for having intercepted a message meant for her, but it was that her second application to medical school had been accepted and they were thrilled. She didn’t tell them why she was home. In a series of flashbacks, the director established that 6 years earlier, she had been babysitting the three children across the street, two older boys and a little girl in a walker, the boys were fighting and she was trying to separate them and while she was doing that, the little girl went down the basement stairs and died.

The mother in that household, well, a little part of her died too. She withdrew from her own family, sons, husband, activities. The Russell girl, held herself accountable for that little girls death, had been blaming herself for 6 years for not being able to be in two places at the same time. She tried a couple times to talk the mother across the street, she was not received well. She figured the leukemia was karma. She canceled her oncology appointment. She wasn’t horribly sick yet, one day ran a fever of 102 but came back from that. One day she hurt and she went to a drugstore and bought ibuprofen and water and sat at the curb too weak to take them. The woman from across the street saw her and asked if she was okay. She said yes. A day or so later she was sitting at an outdoor cafe, doing some research on her cancer,when her nose started to bleed, again the mother from across the street was passing (VERY small town I guess, or very large coincidence) and saw, and again, rather coldly asked if she was okay. She just said yes.

She didn’t tell anyone, but it was obvious that she was wretchedly ill. I think she planned to let herself die because she felt so guilty about having not been perfect that one tragic night. I know a little about that feeling. They came up with a happy ending for the movie, or at least the possibility of one. Life doesn’t always allow for scripts though. These dark days of winter bring me to that feeling so often. I wonder, if I come down with some dread thing, if I will do anything about it, but know it and let nature takes its course. The guilt I feel for not somehow having been able to read Brandon’s mind and stop him, even after 11 years, is not assuaged.

I’m still here, still seeing the sun come up each day, loving my son and grandchildren, but a lot of the joy in life died almost 11 years ago, or at least the ability to feel it, I certainly can’t sustain it for long. Life should be more than that. I have had this song running through my head since last night. Wherever you Will Go by the Calling. I haven’t heard it in a very long time, but it feels right.

So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I’m gone you’ll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own

If I could, then I would
I’ll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I’ll go wherever you will go

And maybe, I’ll find out
A way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave shall fall and fall upon us all
Then I hope there’s someone out there
Who can bring me back to you

If I could, then I would
I’ll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I’ll go wherever you will go

Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love

I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I’ll stay with you for all of time

If I could, then I would
I’ll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I’ll go wherever you will go

If I could turn back time
I’ll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I’ll go wherever you will go
I’ll go wherever you will go

So much of me, despite all there is here, all that is left here to do, just wants to go wherever he has gone and wait for the rest to catch up. I know its a good place. I believe that, I believe everything I’ve written here and on my main site, it is all true, and still, I can’t shake this feeling that I could have, should have, done more. I thought that would pass with time. Complicated bereavement. Yeah, it is that alright. And still two weeks to go, I wonder will ever a year come again that isn’t like this between his birthday on the 7th of January and the anniversary of his death on the 11th of February? I don’t spare myself the inner scourging, maybe next year I’ll learn that part. I should never watch a Hallmark movie, they always seem to begin that slow spiral down again. Life is complicated. Living it even more so. Ah well, I think I feel like hugging Cisco and crying on his shoulders for a bit. He never minds. Dogs are great people. More upbeat next time, promise…

Rebate/Shmebate

I simply cannot believe anyone is taking this seriously. Not the economic situation, the solution. Does no one see through this? I understand the Senate has an issue with not including extended unemployment benefits – this is not a new problem, it has come up in “negotiations” in years past. That isn’t my issue with this idea.

Do I love the idea of some “free” money? Well, sure, why wouldn’t I? But if you think about this for a minute with me, I’d like to talk a little bit about what “free” really means and just exactly who is going to benefit from this largesse?

Free. mmmhmmm. Where exactly does the government, any government, get its money? Well, sure, they print it, but that isn’t what I mean. The money they have to spend comes from US, the people who pay taxes. The government hasn’t any of its own, in the sense of earned, money, to give to anyone, at any time, for any purpose. What money the government uses to pursue its particular goals it gets from US, the people who pay the taxes.

The initial proposal was based on the idea that the people who get this rebate will immediately spend it, thus injecting enthusiasm, however temporary, into the American economy. I understand this is a worldwide issue and why other nations are worried about a recession in the United States. I mean, gawd, we consume more than 60% of what everyone else produces, there is no porkier country on the planet. If WE stop buying, EVERYONE stops selling, and, well, we all know what a ripple effect looks like when we drop a stone into a pool of water. If we don’t buy, China goes broke. I mean, nearly everything sold here these days is made in China. Apart from the silliness of that scenario, though of course it is deadly serious, the point I want to bring out here is that, although we make virtually nothing anymore, we still consume most of the world’s production. I mean, gawd, those poor oil sheiks, the mere thought of an American recession dropped the price of oil $10 a barrel in minutes yesterday. Do you suppose that means the terrorists may have to make to do with 70 or 71 virgins instead of 72? Okay, that’s an aside, but it made me giggle anyway.

So – the president, exercising his usual wonderful brand of leadership, proposes a rebate, which remember is designed to be spent into the American economy, that excludes the 29 million poorest of our populace. THE group most likely to indeed spend that check immediately. What is it that commercial says? Oh yeah, brilliant.

No one seems to notice this flaw in the plan. No one seems to notice that the people who get this rebate are going to, on the whole, do one thing with it. Pay on an existing bill, credit card or mortgage. Which means that Bush is proposing to give 145 billion dollars to people who are going to give that money to his friends, the people who own the companies, the credit card issuers and mortgage holders. He wants to give $145 billion MORE dollars to his pals before he leaves office. Are THOSE people going to spend that money on Chinese made goods? I sorta doubt it. I suspect they’ll sock it away or buy another beach house on the other side of the continent, or globe. It is a tricky way to slide one more perk through to his “base” before leaving office. He doesn’t want to give the money to the poorest of the poor, those who get back their entire withholding plus Earned Income Credit, etc. He wants to give it to people, essentially the entire “middle class”, who will in turn give it to people who own businesses that CAUSED the recession with predatory lending practices, usurious interest rates (oh, please, 23% interest on a TV at Circuit City is REASONABLE?) and which give insane compensation packages to their top managers – again, his “base”. What does that mean? Google William McGuire, or search here. I’ve mentioned him before. And he is but ONE remember.

So this whole rebate idea takes taxpayer dollars and passes them back to taxpayers to pass on to the people who created the recessionary problem in the first place. Short answer? The rich get richer.

I wonder, when will we ever learn? If you wish a robust economy with as many people participating as possible, then you educate everyone educable. You encourage investment in the future, you build infrastructure even if results won’t be seen for decades. You give up the idea of me and mine and embrace the idea of we and ours. You make love your campaign promise. And you mean it. THAT is the answer to the woes of the current crisis. It is the answer to the mistakes of the past and it is the answer to the promise of the future. Love. Unconditional and uncompromising. Do unto thy neighbor as thy neighbor would have you do unto to them. Yes, that is a twist, but it is an important one, and it is right. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Two wonders from Steve

A double dose of Steve Goodier today – two marvelous stories, both containing truths that would do us all well to remember. I’ve talked a bit, and will much more often during this coming campaign season of the pitfalls of giving tax cuts to the wealthy on the assumption that they will invest those funds in the infrastructure of our world, or increase their giving to charitable causes. The first story talks about what really happens when you give “compassionate conservatives” tax breaks, which, you may guess, comes as no surprise to me. The wisdom in the book he cites, though, is eternal. Maybe that is what pastors ought be reading from on Sunday mornings. What they’ve been reading from doesn’t seem to have had much effect. I’m not so convinced of the eternal truth in the second story, in that sometimes wounds may do more than strengthen us, they may kill us. It is hard to argue that the men, women and children being blown apart by bombs the world over each day are going to be much strengthened by that experience. If however, we consider those experiences, as the bull walking around the tree, and if those wounds then cause the world to rethink how we treat each other, then it may be that the world itself will be stronger for what we are going through now. One hopes. much love, :^) gene

A FORMULA FOR A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

I have a friend who prepares taxes. He lamented with me once about some of his wealthier clients – those with six and seven figure incomes. Some of these people, he said, even despite the obvious tax benefits, refused to give any of their money away. Some are spending more money on grooming their pets than on feeding hungry children. They simply have not discovered the importance and power of giving. And sadly, these wealthier clients are in a position to do something significant, but they choose to do nothing at all.

Author Kent Nerburn wrote a book titled LETTERS TO MY SON: A Father’s Wisdom on Manhood, Life, and Love. In one letter, he teaches his son the value of generosity:

“Remember to be gentle with yourself and others. We are all children of chance, and none can say why
some fields will blossom and others lay brown beneath the August sun. Care for those around you. Look past
your differences. Their dreams are no less than yours, their choices in life no more easily made. And give.
Give in any way that you can, of whatever you possess. To give is to love. To withhold is to wither. Care less
for your harvest than how it is shared, and your life will have meaning and your heart will have peace.”
How fortunate for one boy that his father is showing him how to truly live!

People who live well are experts at giving. They give their money; they give their time. They share their wisdom and their skills. They quickly say yes when asked to help. For them, the formula is simple: to give is to love and to love is to live. It’s a formula for a successful life.

STRENGTHENED BY OUR WOUNDS

Po Bronson, in his book WHY DO I LOVE THESE PEOPLE? (Random House, 2005), tells a true story about a magnificent elm tree.

The tree was planted in the first half of the 20th Century on a farm near Beulah, Michigan (USA). It grew to be a magnificent tree. In the 1950s, the family that owned the farm kept a bull chained to the elm. The bull paced around the tree, dragging a heavy iron chain with him, which scraped a trench in the bark about three feet off ground. The trench deepened over the years, though for whatever reason, did not kill the tree.

After some years, the family sold the farm and took their bull. They cut the chain, leaving the loop around the tree and one link hanging down. Over the years, bark slowly covered the rusting chain. Then one year, agricultural catastrophe struck Michigan in the form of Dutch Elm Disease. It left a path of death across vast areas. All of the elms lining the road leading to the farm became infected and died. Everyone figured that old, stately elm would be next. There was no way the tree could last, between the encroaching fungus and its chain belt strangling its trunk.

The farm’s owners considered doing the safe thing: pulling it out and chopping it up into firewood before it died and blew over onto the barn in a windstorm. But they simply could not bring themselves to do it. It was as if the old tree had become a family friend. So they decided to let nature take its course.

Amazingly, the tree did not die. Year after year it thrived. Nobody could understand why it was the only elm still standing in the county! Plant pathologists from Michigan State University came out to observe the tree. They observed the scar left by the iron chain, now almost completely covered by bark and badly corroded. The plant experts decided that it was the chain that saved the elm’s life. They reasoned that the tree must have absorbed so much iron from the rusting chain, that it became immune to the fungus.

It’s said that what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Or, as Ernest Hemingway put it, “Life breaks us all, but afterwards, many of us are strongest at the broken places.”

The next time you’re in Beulah, Michigan, look for that beautiful elm. It spans 60 feet across its lush, green crown. The trunk is about 12 feet in circumference. Look for the wound made by the chain. It serves as a reminder that because of our wounds, we can have hope! Our wounds can give us resources we need to cope and survive. They can truly make us strong.

– Steve Goodier
__________

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

A wide ranging political discussion

This comes from a discussion I had with someone who reprinted a scurrilous article accusing Hillary Clinton of being a lesbian in hopes of derailing her presidential campaign, the other side of the discussion. I thought it particularly appropriate for Martin Luther King day. There were a couple of people with whom I was speaking their portions are in italics, my responses are not:

“Here is some evidence of the potential new Commander-in-Chief:

Is Hillary Clinton a Lesbian?
By Dave Martin
July 29, 2007

1. Gennifer Flowers quoted her lover, Bill Clinton, colorfully, and to this writer’s Southern ears, quite authentically, with respect to Hillary’s experience in performing oral sex on women in her book, Passion and Betrayal.

2. Dr. Jack Wheeler, citing unnamed Secret Service agents, reported in a published interview that the agents had caught Hillary in the sex act with another woman in the White House and named a prominent Hollywood actress who hails from Arkansas as one of her preferred partners. Secret Service agents were also the source of the story told to the policeman son-in-law of a colleague of this writer that Hillary had a regular woman whom she brought into the White House for sexual purposes.

3. Jerry Oppenheimer repeated and dismissed the Washington “rumor” in his book, State of the Union: Inside the Complex Marriage of Bill and Hillary Clinton, that a Washington veterinarian, on house call to the White House to treat a sick Socks, the Clinton cat, had “opened the wrong door” and caught Hillary in bed with another woman”

Besides, there’s a theory that many lesbians are man-haters. I don’t know if that’s true or not. Still, a female Commander-in-Chief who hates men and loves women? Gawdddd…..”

That is a common theory proposed by people of faith. You know, your type. The Robertsons, and Falwells, and bin Ladens of the world. It is a way of deflecting the weakness of your argument to a personal attack. A common, and inherently dishonest, method of debate. Used primarily by those with weak arguments to begin with – you know, the kind that say, well, because the Bible/Koran/whatever says so. Which statement by itself is proof of nothing. Men wrote those books. So then the argument goes, but, but, but they were divinely inspired! Oh, right, show me THAT in writing too.

When it comes down to someone telling you that you must accept their argument as a matter of faith, they have no argument, they have an opinion, not normally their own either. Besides you can use the bible and koran to sell anything you want from any angle, slavery, crucifixion, jihad, killing all the infidels. Or loving thy neighbor as thyself. People just pick and choose phrases and words out of context to support whatever idea they want to shove down someone else’s throat. Those aren’t arguments, they’re abuse.

I’d need a hell of a lot more than THAT to believe it. And if there is a such person, he better have more than “unnamed agents” as testimony as that is a legally actionable statement which I suspect Mrs. Clinton knows. Dr. Wheeler better have deep pockets because he is going to need them. Since I am sending this on to Hillary’s campaign committee…

Then, it became a Constitution argument:

“The Constitution gave the federal government certain responsibilities … arbitrate disputes between the states, provide for a common defense, conduct foreign policy and collect the monies necessary to support those responsibilities. It says nothing about creating a “mommy state” and being all things to all people. Hillary is a Socialist. IMO, she may have YOUR best interests at heart. She does NOT have the best interests of the country at heart.”

Which devolved into her not being a good person because she chose to remain in her marriage. The possiblity that she did do because she loves him and forgave him, is not a possibility at all according to many on the right wing. The only possible reason she could have is her own political ambition. Uh huh.

I was accosted because I said I would forward that article to her campaign committee. I have been on her mailing list since her Senatorial campaign began. I was asked why I would do such a thing if I didn’t believe it true. So I responded, because it is libelous and would only be done to a woman. No one does things like that to male candidates. A strong woman and the right wingnut world quavers, well, she must be a lesbian. Well, fine for right wing radio and Foxie news. But if an individual says something like, with malice, it is legally actionable. And people need to be held accountable for their actions, I’d think you right wingers would agree on that before anyone else. Aren’t you all about that? I’ll let her campaign decide what, if anything, they wish to do about it. But libel isn’t nice even if it is campaign season. Whispers, rumors, unnamed sources, THIS is how you choose to campaign? George Will said in his column today that this is going to be the worst drubbing Republicans have had since 1964 – and I think he’s right and THESE tactics are one of the reasons. Just one. There are lots of others, better ones, including just about everything Shrub has done since 9/11. This one though is personal and she may wish to do something about it. And I have NEVER said I’m voting for her. Though I certainly will if she is the nominee. I, at this point, support Obama…

“The comeback was, if the story is true, then why is it defamatory?”

If can be an awfully big word. And if all you have to go on is “if”, then you have nothing. If the moon was made of green cheese it would be really cool. There has never been anything to substantiate this “story” that would even allow for an “if”, it was fabricated. Which is a typical right wing tactic. And which is going to blow right up in your faces this year. People are tired of Karl Rove style sleazy roll-in-the-mud politics and the proof of that will be heard round the world come November… You heard it hear first, lol.

“As far as I know, if you tell the truth, it isn’t slander.”

Well, that is the key point here isn’t it? If that were the truth it would be all over the world by now since the “article” quoted was published 6 months ago. You think the national media wouldn’t be all over that? Oh, please, you can’t be that naive. Anyway, she can decide for herself what, if anything she wants to do about it, cuz I have already sent it to her. And if you people keep it up, I’m going to dump Obama for her just to spite you all. There isn’t that much to choose from between them, either will be a 1000 percent improvement over that one who’s been squatting in that office too long already. 371 days left and counting. And our long national nightmare will be over, lol.

The discussion then expanded for a bit to include Obama, because I’d said I supported him at this point.

“You better be more concerned about a Muslim being President than a lesbian!”

My only concern with this election is Universal Healthcare. I will vote for whatever candidate believes America should get out of the freakin dark ages and stop treating healthcare as a commodity. Have you seen Sicko? The rest of the world can do it. Why can’t we? Because it might lead us toward been a socialistic country, according to shrub. Well if that mean taking care of each other, how on earth is that a bad thing? So the rich ones can only have houses on two coasts instead of three and might have to cut back their servants to two and hire a cheaper landscaper. No one is going bankrupt over providing health care for EVERYONE. It’ll make us a healthier, happier, more productive nation – and somehow that is a bad thing? I’m with you on this one, insure EVERYONE. We can afford – even if we have to give up a billion dollar plane or two…

Someone then brought national health care into the discussion at hand and that supporting it, is Socialistic by definition, to which I responded:

Health Care

That link points you to one of the problems with Health Care in this country. United Health Care group’s CSO, William McGuire is being required to repay 618 million dollars, plus a 7 million dollar fine but is being allowed to keep more than 800 million dollars. What one person is worth that much money? When is enough, enough? That isn’t capitalism it is naked greed. You could insure every uninsured child in Minnesota for what that ONE person “earned”. From OUR premiums. That insurance, under COBRA, if one were to lose one’s job, or be downsized out of it, costs $1200 a month for family coverage. Who can afford that on what unemployment pays? There HAVE to be alternatives. That you are able take care of yourself but care nothing for anyone not as fortunate as you, it speaks more to your sense of morality than it does Obama’s or Hillary’s. I believe we have a responsibility as human beings to care for each other, I think that should be our first priority, caring for the young and the elderly. But I don’t think the working poor should be excluded either.

Our late great Senator Hubert Humphrey, who did not beat Nixon in 1968 ONLY because he supported officially, though not personally, his boss’s position on Viet Nam, had this to say about government:

“The moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; and those who are in the shadows of life – the sick, the needy and the handicapped.”

I agree with him though he has been dead for many years – that IS the moral test of government.

Then we come to the crux of the argument. THIS is what I see happening in Minnesota and around the country. It is a sort of “I got mine, get your own” mentality that I simply do not understand nor agree with.

“I do NOT believe I have a responsibility for anybody except myself. And, I do NOT expect anybody to assume responsibility for me. “

Ahh, then you would support abandoning our constitution and all governmental protections and services it provides, police, fire, defense, the common good. I see, a libertarian/anarchist. Now I understand where you are coming from.

“That’s a ridiculous statement. I said nothing about abandoning the Constitution.”

I don’t think it ridiculous at all. You said clearly you didn’t think you had any responsibility for anyone but yourself and our constitution is designed to help all of us. Either you believe that or you don’t. And you said yourself you didn’t give a rat’s but about anyone but you. I know your type, I’ll never understand that sort of selfishness, but you aren’t alone. Sadly.

“You conveniently ignored the rest of my post … the bit about going back to the original purpose of the Constitution … you know, arbitrate disputes between the states, etc. You act like it’s a crime to be independent and self-sufficient. You’d feel a whole lot better about me if I worked hard and then gave my assets to those who didn’t want to work. You’re the perfect example of a Socialist. You want our government to collect and redistribute the wealth in this country so everybody has the exact same assets. “

And YOU, conveniently ignored this, as I posted yesterday. It is not socialistic to care for others less fortunate than you, it is christian, it is muslim, it is the golden rule, and it is in the nature of humanity, most of it, to feel empathy and act on it. Were that not so, we’d have no doctors, no nurses, no care givers at all – it would be the wild west, each for themselves and themselves alone. We’d have no nursing homes, no home health care aides, no adult or child protection services, nor any of the other social services upon which a large number of our fellow citizens depend to have ANY sort of life at all.

I believe we are at our best when we care for each other. And I believe those of us who have been blessed with the means and ability to take care of ourselves have a moral responsibility to care for others, else we be nothing but savages. And I think we’re more than that. That isn’t socialism, it is humans caring for other humans. It is mercy. It is loving. And it is right. You may believe as you wish. I have trouble with selfish people. And people who think they got where they are all by themselves, no help from anyone, when the truth is none of us do that, we all have parents, teachers, mentors, friends who have helped us along the way of our path to adulthood. All I am saying is that tradition of love and caring for each other is a moral responsibility that most of the world feels and understands. And acts on.

Government is at its best when it leads the way and demonstrates its understanding of the reason for its existence in ways that benefit all, not just the fortunate few. Our constitution begins, “We, the people, in order to form a more perfect union.” I think that speaks for itself, and that it means what it says, a union is a group of people joined together for the common good. And that means all of us, not just the ones lucky enough to have been born with privilege or with the mental and physical capacity to care for themselves. Senator Humphrey was right in what he said below. I LIVE that way and intend to for the rest of my days. You may do as you choose. That is one of the freedoms we have too.

“As far as this Board is concerned, I thought we were on a debate and discussion board … NOT … a board that’s controlled by a self-appointed monitor. If he doesn’t like something, it tattle-tale time. :::shrug::: I outgrew that behavior in junior high.”

I did do what I said I would. The reason is that this is not junior high. That article reprinted here was dated last summer, which makes it an active part of this campaign. There is an element in this country that will stop at nothing to prevent a woman from becoming president. I’ve already said she is not my first choice. I have been posting here for five years and have never done anything like that before. The reason is I don’t really care what people say. I believe in freedom of speech. I discuss and move on. But there is a difference between making slurs, which happens here all the time and always has, and libel.

Public figures are held to a higher standard, they ARE in the public eye and are therefore open to things being said about them. It is much easier for John Q. Citizen to prove up a case of slander or libel than it is for a public figure. This is reasonable. Slander is spoken, libel is written defamation. I felt that what was said might well be actionable, even in the case of a political campaign because, in my admittedly opinion, that was done with malice aforethought. So I looked up libel and decided that, in fairness, her campaign deserved to know, if they did not, that this was being bandied about as if it were God’s own truth. I have included the particular site I used and the information it provides below, for your edification. I don’t consider malicious intent, which is punishable under our legal system, to fall under the category of telling tales out of school. Your attempt to reduce this to tattle-taling, again, speaks more to me about your character than it does mine. You are not the only person in this world, or on this board, who works hard or has paid their own way through life. Google, libel. You’ll have hours of reading enjoyment and learn the difference between telling a funny story and making up a malicious lie intended to do actual harm to another human being. As you obviously do not get the difference at all.

Slander

Slander is defined as the act of making false and injurious statements that do injury to a person’s reputation. Both slander and libel are forms of defamation. Slander is defamation that is spoken, while libel is defamation that is written. Slander can include any false statement which does injury to a person’s business or personal reputation and can relate to the person’s character, morals, ability, business practices, or financial status. The victim of slander has the legal right file a civil lawsuit against the person who committed the slander to seek compensation for their damages.

United States slander laws are less plaintiff friendly than the laws of other democratic countries. This is in large part due to the protections offered to US citizens by the first amendment of our constitution. The first amendment guarantees free speech rights to all citizens, and therefore restricts the legal options available to those who are aggrieved by this speech. Both federal and state laws do, however, provide protections to those who are the victims of slander.

State laws regarding slander can vary considerably. Some lump both slander and libel into the same category of offenses, some laws are outdated and rarely prosecuted, and other laws are more specific and comprehensive. In most states the defendant in a slander case will only be charged with a single claim for the primary slander offenses, rather than a claim for each instance of slander. Slander statistics show that approximately seventy five percent of all civil cases involving slander are handled in state courts and twenty five percent in federal courts.

In most slander legal cases the defendant is a mass media entity such as a news organization. Newspapers are the most common defendant in defamation cases, and they are involved in defamation cases twice as often as TV stations. Because slander is spoken, however, newspapers are not typically the defendant in these cases. Other defendants in a slander case can be political or social figures or groups.

By definition, slander is the act of publicizing false statements that cause injury to the reputation of one person. Therefore, the plaintiff in a slander case must be a single individual. The most common plaintiffs in a slander case are business professionals, entertainers, and other public figures. Most states do not allow a slander lawsuit to be filed on behalf of a person who is deceased.

The defendant is a slander case has many potential points in his favor. A slander case may be dismissed if the injurious statements were stated as opinion rather than fact; if they are deemed “fair comments and criticisms”; if they do not actually do injury to the plaintiff’s reputation; or if the statements were true. The plaintiff in a slander case must also prove that the defendant acted negligently or with malice in order to win a case. If you would like to learn more about slander cases, please contact us to speak with a qualified and experienced attorney who can evaluate your case to determine how best to protect and maximize your legal interests.

That you think Public Administration a useless degree does not surprise me in the least. This is the area in which we are least alike. I care about other people and you care about you. That has been our bone of contention over however many years it is that you have been posting here. I know you came after I did, or perhaps you had been gone a while, as you do tend to disappear, anyway I’d been here a year, at least before your first anti-female diatribe post. It is okay to feel as you do. For that matter it is okay to feel as anyone does, that really is the point of this whole human experience. I mean why else bother?

You ARE in NY after all and work in finance. I understand your anger, but do not understand why it is so directed at women. It wasn’t women who flew the planes into the towers? Their purpose was to destroy, or try to, our financial heart. But, you see, I believe we are more than that. I don’t think we are only about money. I really do believe what I say and I think if we had some time to sit down together and talk, I could persuade you of my opinion. Women aren’t evil. You may have been treated evilly by some woman, but that does not make women all of the same stripe. What I said earlier on this thread is what I believe. We are at our best when we pull together. Unfortunately that happens really only when we have a common enemy. It should not require war for us to treat each other well. Is my opinion. I don’t think greed, naked greed, is at the top of Maslow’s pyramid. I think what should be at the top of that pyramid is eden. You will recall eden? Well, I believe that when we all learn to care about each other, care for each other, when we all prosper, in our own way, we will have reached the top of that pyramid. We have a ways to ago as is evident from this exchange. Even so, much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

I have been remiss

I know. This is not a good time of year for me. Thankfully it is getting better. It used to start before Thanksgiving, this dark night of the soul, but now has receded somewhat and begins really, well, okay it IS still there from Thanksgiving, but thankfully in the background, but with January 7th, Brandon’s birthday, I fall inevitably back into the gray part of life. Time passes swiftly, but grief does not. I saw that in the paper the other day and I thought to myself, but gawd, 11 years, isn’t that enough time for this to have healed? And knew that, no, it wasn’t. It isn’t. It isn’t that I am not grateful for what I have, a loving son and two beautiful bright grandchildren whom I love dearly. I am. But, starting with his birthday, a bible verse begins running through my mind, Absalom, oh Absalom. It just does not leave. Pops into my mind at the most inopportune of times. This will last through February 11th, I have lived it enough times to be sure. It isn’t that I don’t have things to say, i do. It is more that I haven’t the will to say them right now. The world is shrouded in gray and no matter what I do, I cannot lift that fog. I guess it will be this way the rest of my days. May they be numbered, please. That is a joke. Sort of.

I’ve been gifted with a series of books, and jen wants me to read them, I am not sure why. I have talked here before about a tv show on Fox, Bones, which I just love and have since its first episode, which played again two weeks ago and reminded me afresh why I got so caught up in it to begin with. I love the science of it. I love it the way I do Cold Case, for what they do for those whose lives have been taken prematurely. They bring peace to those left behind. They explain the unexplainable. It turns out that Bones is based on a series of novels by a woman named Kathy Reichs. I did not know that. I was given 8 of them and on that same day, I got a discount coupon from Barnes and Noble for any ONE item, which will be the 9th of those books. jen wants me to read these. I don’t know why, but everything else is sort of going on hold while I do. In the first, today, a line caught my eye, it actually sort of slapped me from inside. She, the protagonist, Temperance Brennan, was talking about a serial killer and her reaction to the victims; she said. Empathy to the point of pain. I understand that. I understood it as I read it. I understood it every time I stood in front of the door to Brandon’s bedroom during the years I could not open that door. I have always understood it. Reading has been my first love all of my life, I talk about that some, I think, on the main site, as an escape, but part of that has always been this transposition, I AM wherever it is is I am reading about, I FEEL what they feel. Life in the real world is no different. I understand at the core of my being the phrase, empathy to the point of pain. This song has been in me all day. Can’t shake it either. And that’s okay too. As always, Sarah.

Full of Grace

The winter here’s cold, and bitter
It’s chilled us to the bone
We haven’t seen the sun for weeks
To long too far from home
I feel just like I’m sinking
And I claw for solid ground
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength and all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love
So it’s better this way, I said
Having seen this place before
Where everything we said and did
Hurts us all the more
Its just that we stayed, too long
In the same old sickly skin
I’m pulled down by the undertow
I never thought I could feel so low
Oh darkness I feel like letting go
If all of the strength
And all of the courage
Come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
Full of grace
Full of grace
My love

But what if one isn’t ready, or able, to swim through the undertow? That is the conundrum I live with. Love what was or love what is, or find a way to do both. So far, it is always one or the other, I flow between them, never knowing which will greet me during any moment of any day. It is an odd way to be. I will tire of it, I think. And I wonder what that will mean, or bring. Life can be such a puzzle.

So. I am, I think, going to write some things before 2/11, I have some things already written, but I will not be here much until past that date. Even if I am. much love, :^) gene

The Evangelical Litmus test

I read an article in the Minneapolis paper last night that was just about the wisest thing I have ever read from a person of “faith”, let alone who calls himself “evangelical”. Because, to me, evangelical means proselytize. Which, to some, includes at the point of a gun or a machete. They, to me, have generally been people with tightly closed minds and precise opinions about how everyone else should act, speak, live and be. They generally claim to be followers of Jesus of Nazareth but, to me, seem about as far from that loving soul as one could get and that understood not a word of what He taught while He walked this earth. They are, as I have said before, the gravest danger this planet and its people face, fundamentalist of all faiths, they who will kill you if you do not behave as they say you must. As they CLAIM God told THEM personally. Very mean people these are, the kind who strap bombs to themselves and detonate them at school or who start bloody wars looking for things like weapons of mass destruction that they knew all along did not exist. Those are dangerous people be they eastern, western, middle eastern. Very dangerous because they will kill anyone with whom they disagree.

Then along comes Herbert W. Chilstrom, St. Peter, Minn., who is the former presiding bishop of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. The church in which I was raised and have long since left. This article is posted online at the Minneapolis StarTribune website: Bishop Chilstrom’s Article
It is a wonderful piece of writing and thinking from a reasoned and reasonable man. I believe I will follow his advice this election year. And I hope you will too. If we do? We’ll have a darn good President in one year and 10 days, I think January 20th is inauguration day, lol. God help us all until then.

The reason I want to put it in here though, specifically, is because it is so reasoned, so WELL reasoned, and so important as our 2008 campaign rolls on becoming every day more of a “who has the most faith and the clearest pipeline to God” contest, particularly on the Republican side, but the presence of that argument is ghosting around the edges of the Democratic side as well. So, here is what a reasonable man has to say about faith.

By Herbert W. Chilstrom: What being evangelical means to me.

Am I an “Evangelical Christian”? No, emphatically no. Am I an evangelical Christian? Yes, emphatically yes.

I became an evangelical Christian on Nov. 29, 1931, six weeks after I was born. My parents were farmers on the prairie of south central Minnesota.

Like Roman Catholic, Presbyterian, Episcopal, Orthodox, Methodist and many other believers, my Lutheran parents made certain I was baptized. They believed “evangelical” meant that God takes the initiative when we become a Christian, even as an infant. First, foremost, and primarily, God makes the first move.

My parents and sponsors, as an act of faith, affirmed the beliefs of my church and promised to bring me up in a Christian environment. Along the way it became important for me to confirm what had happened on that Sunday in 1931. As a youth and on through the rest of my life I have continued to confess my faith in the presence of a Christian congregation. As an evangelical Christian I try to let that faith be seen in all I say and do. Yes, I fail all too often. But being an evangelical Christian means that I believe God forgives and helps me move on again. It’s that simple.

So why am I so emphatic in saying that I am not an “Evangelical Christian”? It’s because I now find myself living in a culture where some folks who call themselves “Evangelical Christians” are putting a very different twist on that old and revered term. They have sullied and secularized it by tacking on a political agenda. They tend to identify themselves not simply by what they believe, but by the stance they take on controversial issues. The majority of them are anti-abortion, pro-death penalty, anti-gay rights, pro-preemptive war, anti-immigration, pro-home schooling, anti-Palestinian rights, pro-Republican party, anti-Democratic party, pro-literal reading of the Bible, anti-higher taxes, and so on.

As I look over the list of things these “Evangelical Christians” espouse, I find that in some areas I agree with them. In most, I strongly disagree.

So when one applies all of this to our common life in the public square, what is the difference between being an evangelical Christian and an “Evangelical Christian”? In my opinion, it lies in the emphasis evangelical Christians put on the use of reason in relationship to their faith. A few examples:

• The best auto mechanic I have ever had is a devout Roman Catholic. He never fails to do the right thing. It makes common sense to go to him.

• The best diagnostic physicians I have ever had are a non-practicing Jew and an active Lutheran. Their keen minds have spared me many maladies. It seems reasonable to go to physicians like them.

• The best surgeons I have ever known are a probable agnostic and a practicing Jew. Each knows exactly what to do. It seems reasonable to trust them.

• The best mayor I have ever known was a Lutheran socialist. His city was one of the best-governed in the country. He was reasonable in everything he did.

• The best presidents of the United States, in my opinion, were a non-church member, an occasional Episcopalian, a cranky member of the Christian Church — Disciples of Christ, and a Mennonite/Presbyterian. They served effectively in times of crisis. They did what was most reasonable. Two were Republicans; two were Democrats.

• In my judgment, the best former president we’ve ever had is a devout Southern Baptist.

In this election year I will be evaluating candidates, whether they are seeking local office or the presidency of the United States, on the basis of their qualifications as wise and reasonable women and men.

• Do they have compassion for the poor and vulnerable?

• Do they understand that politics at its best is practicing the art of the possible?

• Do they have the capacity to work for compromise on difficult issues?

• Do they have the intelligence to see all sides of a complex question?

• Do they have the physical stamina to endure the rigors of office?

• Do they know how to surround themselves with a capable staff, including people who will tell them the truth?

• In the presidential contest, does the candidate have the potential to become a respected statesperson in the community of nations? And will this person be likely to seek to resolve international conflict by dialogue and political negotiation, using military force only as a last resort?

If I sense that candidates for any office are dancing to the lock-step tune of the “Evangelical Christian” segment in our society, they will not get my vote. If they happen to be evangelical Christians, well and good. But that will not be a primary requirement.

An evangelical Christian? Yes. An “Evangelical Christian”? No. It’s that simple.

There you have it. If there be a litmus test, let it be this one. I would like to see this article reprinted in every paper, every blog, and read on the evening news on every network at least once, lol. People, ALL people, need to hear and heed this man’s advice. It is the path to our political and social salvation. Not just here in the west, but everywhere people are on this planet. much love, gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

So who are we looking for again?

I was under the impression that given the war in Iraq, Afghanistan and the situation in Pakistan, and, then too, the nasty video tape Osama gave the world as his Christmas gift last week, that it was still him our illustrious president was trying to find. But I saw in the paper a couple days ago that the FBI has its sites set on an entirely different target as they published updated photo’s of what D.B. Cooper, who jumped out of an airplane in 1971 (and whom I am quite sure has been dead ever since) would possibly look like today. I mean I am glad they have the time and manpower to stick with it like that. Osama? Nah, D.B. Cooper, THAT’s the guy we want. I wonder sometimes if there is enough brainpower in this entire administration to light a 40 watt bulb. Actually, I don’t wonder, I am pretty sure there isn’t.

So, here’s a free tip. Let’s forget about D.B. Cooper. He got away, or he didn’t, but that $200,000 has never been found and it isn’t going to be. We’ve spent a trillion and a half dollars in Iraq. Could we get a little perspective going here? Let’s find Osama, commit resources to THAT little task, put him on trial and get this whole Al-Qaeda thing behind us. Just a thought.

And, because, there is this lingering sadness which I know is going to last through the 11th of February, experience has taught me, I’m just going to reproduce a gem from Steve Goodier today. The advice is quite good. If we tried it, we might even find Osama. It isn’t rocket science that is needed, it is love, loving enough to learn anothers language, even if that language isn’t words. much love, :^) gene

LEARN TO SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE

A woman was explaining her theory of putting her children to bed: “I
never tell bedtime stories that begin with ‘Once upon a time,’” she
said. “If I really want to put them to sleep, I start off with, ‘Now,
when I was your age…’” It’s nice to understand people so well that
we know just what to say! Here is a mother who could speak her
children’s language.

The story is told of the most famous elephant in the world — a huge,
beautiful and gentle beast named Bozo. Children extended open palms
filled with peanuts for the Indian elephant, who gently plucked them
from little hands and seemed to smile as he ate his treats.

But one day, for some inexplicable reason, Bozo changed. He almost
stampeded the man who cleaned his cage. He charged children at the
circus and became incorrigible. His owner knew he would have to
destroy the once-gentle giant.

In order to raise money for a new elephant, the circus owner held a
cruel exhibition. He sold tickets to witness Bozo’s execution and, on
the appointed day, his arena was packed. Three men with high-powered
rifles rose to take aim at the great beast’s head.

Just before the signal was given to shoot, a little, stubby man in a
brown hat stepped out of the crowd and said to the elephant’s owner,
“Sir, this is not necessary. Bozo is not a bad elephant.”

“But he is,” the man argued. “We must kill him before he kills
someone.”

“Sir, give me two minutes alone in his cage,” the visitor pleaded,
“and I’ll prove to you that you are wrong. He is not a bad elephant.”

After a few more moments of discussion (and a written statement
absolving the circus of liability if the man should be injured), the
keeper finally agreed to allow the man inside Bozo’s cage. The
man removed his brown derby and entered the cage of the bellowing and
trumpeting beast.

Before the elephant could charge, the man began to speak to him. Bozo
seemed to immediately quiet down upon hearing the man’s words. Nearby
spectators could also hear the man, but they could not understand him,
for he spoke a foreign language. Soon the great animal began to
tremble, whine and throw his head about. Then the stranger walked up
to Bozo and stroked his trunk. The great elephant tenderly wrapped his
trunk around the man, lifted him up and carried him around his cage
before carefully depositing him back at the door. Everyone applauded.

As the cage door closed behind him, the man said to Bozo’s keeper,
“You see, he is a good elephant. His problem is that he is an Indian
elephant and understands one language.” He explained that Bozo was
frustrated and confused. He needed someone who could speak his
language. “I suggest, sir, that you find someone in London to come in
occasionally and talk to the elephant. If you do, you’ll have no
problems.”

The man picked up his brown derby and walked away. It was at that time
that the circus owner looked carefully at the signature on the paper
he held in his hand — the note absolving the circus of responsibility
in the case he was injured inside the elephant’s cage. The statement
was signed by Rudyard Kipling.

People also become frustrated and angry when they are not understood.
But great relationships are formed by parents who learn to speak their
children’s language; lovers who speak each other’s language;
professionals who speak the language of their staff and clients. When
people understand that YOU understand, that you empathize with their
heartaches and understand their problems, then you are speaking their
language! It is the beginning of true communication.

– Steve Goodier

For Brandon

I had all sorts of ideas for today. But as the day wore on, this song was all I’ve been hearing. Today would have been my youngest son’s, Brandon, 32nd birthday. This is the only song I asked be played at his memorial, so all I’m going to say about that is what is below. Oh, and one other thing, I’ve kept my promises, Brandon. I’m still taking care of Cisco for you and I still think of you every single day. much love, dad

One Sweet Day

Sorry, I never told you, all I wanted to say.
Now it’s too late to hold you. ‘
Cause you’ve flown away, so far away.Never, Had I imagined, yeah, living without your smile.
Feelin’ and knowing you hear me.
It keeps me alive. Alive!

And I know you’re shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way,
And I know eventually we’ll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Darling, I never showed you.
Assumed you’d always be there.
I took your presence for granted.
But I always cared
And I miss the love we shared.

And I know you’re shining down on me from Heaven.
Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way.
And I know eventually we’ll be together.
One sweet day.

Picture a little scene from Heaven.

Although, the sun will never shine the same, I’ll
always look to a brighter day.

Yeah, Lord, I know, when I lay me down to sleep,
You’ll always listen, as I pray!

And I know you’re shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way,
And I know eventually we’ll be together.
One sweet day.

And I know you’re shining down on me from Heaven,
Like so many friends we’ve lost along the way,
And I know eventually we’ll be together.
One sweet day.

Sorry, I Never told you, all I wanted to say

No Future in the Past

This is from Steve Goodier’s, Life Support Newsletter:

The man looked a little worried when the doctor came in to
administer his annual physical, so the first thing the doctor did
was to ask whether anything was troubling him.

“Well, to tell the truth, Doc, yes,” answered the patient. “You
see, I seem to be getting forgetful. No, it’s actually worse than
that. I can never remember where I park my car, where I’m going,
or what it is I’m going to do once I get there — if I get there.
So, I really need your help. What can I do?”

The doctor mused for a moment, then answered kindly, “Pay me in
advance.”

Actually, forgetfulness isn’t all bad…especially when we decide
to forget all that pain from the past that threatens to ruin the
present. Like one song says, “There ain’t no future in the past.”

The past is to be remembered — how else will we learn from it
and keep from repeating it? But why would I want to remember
every time I felt hurt because of my spouse, my children, my
friends, my boss or anybody else? Why would I want to fill my mind
with a detailed catalogue of past pain? Better to remember the times
they brought me joy or love or feelings of warmth. Unfortunately, even
those wonderful and magical moments too easily fade away.

A friend of Clara Barton, founder of the American Red Cross,
asked her about a particular traumatic event in her life. Miss
Barton seemed perplexed.

“Can’t you remember?” the friend prodded.

Clara Barton replied, “I distinctly remember forgetting it.”

Dwell on the past — but not the negative past, not the pain of
the past nor the sadness. Dwell on the good. Be consumed by past
joys and obsessed with gratitude. Dwell upon the moments that
uplifted you, the times you laughed and the memories of love
shown to you by friends and family.

Not everything should be remembered, and those who live well know
what to forget and what to cherish. Like the song says, “There
ain’t no future in the past.” But there IS joy there. And love.
And kindness…if we choose to remember.

– Steve Goodier

Now, there is a bit of advice worth remembering. He’s right, you know? We CAN choose what to hang onto from our pasts and what not to. It isn’t exactly rocket science. Let go of imagined slights and hurts, focus on the love you are, the love you have shared, have known. Let the rest go. Learn from your past, that you might make your future more meaningful, more purposeful, more loving. It is the only way we’ll ever get there from here. Where? To the future we so want to create, a place where love is all there is. much love to you, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene