Sweet Surrender

I’ve had a relatively busy day for me, but this has been on my mind for most of it. I’ve mentioned this song here before. But, today, as I reflect on what happened yesterday, what is happening now in Pakistan, I just have to believe, that the world, ALL of it, has this SO VERY WRONG. It is not vengeance we need seek. It is surrender. To what? Well, I think to the love that bore us. The love from which we were all created, the love that is our sentient spirit, our creator, our mother/father, maker of heaven and earth. And everything else as well.

As this song has been running through my mind all day, and I’ve been in places and situations where I could not let it just flow, it took me until now to realize why jenna has been singing it to me. So if you would, listen to this: Sweet Surrender

It doesn’t mean much
it doesn’t mean anything at all
the life I’ve left behind me
is a cold room
I’ve crossed the last line
from where I can’t return
where every step I took in faith
betrayed me
and led me from my home
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give
You take me in
no questions asked
you strip away the ugliness
that surrounds me
(who are you?)
are you an angel?
am I already that gone?
I only hope
that I won’t disappoint you
when I’m down here
on my knees
(who are you?)
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give(who are you?)
sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

And I don’t understand
by the touch of your hand
I would be the one to fall

I miss the little things
I miss everything *about you*

It doesn’t mean much
it doesn’t mean anything at all
the life I left behind me
is a cold room

(who are you?)
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

(who are you?)
And sweet surrender
is all that I have to give

You know I think, maybe, the most important thing I’ve ever read, thought or will think is that one little line in the middle of this beautiful song. “I only hope that I won’t disappoint you, when I’m down here on my knees”. I guess I believe too, that it isn’t possible to “disappoint” our creator in whatever we do, for with this life we were given free will as well. And no parameters. No, the commandments are not parameter, no, the bible is not a parameter, no, the Quran is not a parameter. Free will is either free or it is nothing. I think, I really do, the best we can hope for, even if it is not possible, is that we do not disappoint the love that made us. Perhaps we can’t, not really, not at home, but here? I sometimes feel very much disappointed in us as a species. This is one of those times. I am having a hard time shaking this “funk” that has settled on me. And she was not even “mine” in that sense. I understand what those who believed she could bring Pakistan into the 21st century are feeling, but it is not in me to support what some of those are doing to express their grief and disappointment. What a sad way to end 2007, what a sad way to begin 2008. The answer is in this song. Sweet Surrender, surrender to love, were we all to do that, 2008 could be a year of miracles indeed. Rather than a year of accusations and brow beating and attack ads. Could we not now, please? All of us, come together, in sweet surrender to love? I want that for New Year’s. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Benazir Buhtto

Today, I just want to add my voice to the millions around the world who are mourning this wonderful woman. That she was not perfect in every way does not make her a candidate for the extremists of the Islamic world to murder, it made her human. Just like the rest of us. Her death is a severe blow to an already “wild west’ country with no semblance of order or honor. She brought to the table grace, intelligence and a will to do what was right for her country and her faith. It is not her faith I am at war with, it is not her faith the United States is at war with. It is those fundamentalists who believe they and only they may decide for everyone else what is right, what is acceptable, what is just. They have no fundamental understanding of any of these things, let alone the truth of Who We Really Are.

The United States, a country in which I was most fortunate to have been born, does one thing better than any other place on the planet. Every two years, we accomplish a peaceful transition of power in our House of Representative, our Senate, though elected to 6 year terms, has a third running for office every two years, and our ultimate leader, the President stands for election every four years. We do not kill our opposition. We defame them, we slander them, we libel them, we paint them as if they were the devil incarnate, but in the end we cast our ballots and accept the outcome. We pick ourselves up and we try again.

We are not barbarians. And we MUST remember this in our dealings with other countries, in our tactics, our strategies and our policies. We are NOT barbarians, we do not stoop to the level of those despicable men who planned and created this despicable act. I do not believe in hell, as a concept or a place, but were there one, it would be reserved for such as these who brought about this cowardly attack on a peaceful woman who wanted only peace for her homeland. These cowards who hide themselves in the mountains, who cover their faces while they commit horrendous crimes against humanity deserve nothing more than to be hunted down like the animals they, tried and to spend the rest of their lives in prison contemplating the evil they have wrought on what is essentially a peaceful planet.

They are not like the rest of us. They are madmen, clinically insane, dangers to themselves and to the rest of us. They deserve no quarter and no pardon. The job of the world is not to “fight” terrorism, it is to find and root out criminals, try them and keep them away from the rest of us who want only to better our lot in life, raise our families in love and devotion, to earn a living at an honorable job and to worship or not as we choose. God makes no demands on us. It is insane men who make these demands. The job NOW is to find them and put them away. Remove them from the presence of the rest of us. They have forfeited forever their right to walk as free men.

Rest in peace, Ms. Bhutto, I know you are home and safe, much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Today

Greetings Gene –

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, December 26:

You may not be on top today, but you can tell that you still have a
strong chance at coming from behind and taking the lead. It’s a good
day to keep an even pace and let others wear themselves out.

You know, I think that might be a good idea. Not so sure even is how I’d term the day. But no bad news IS good news. And besides, I do have good news. The young woman from Saudi Arabia who was raped and sentenced to 200 lashes? Was pardoned. It would be cynical of me to suspect “king” saud of having taken notice of the international outrage and bowing to same. But I think that the truth. Those barbarians, those close personal friends of the Bush family, would have let that this sentence, HAVE let that sentence be executed, countless times over the past, gawd, 800 at least, years, They have been doing this to women for all that time. Isn’t it time the world called, time out, and said NO MORE, to such practices? If you do such things, religiously or not, you are a step outside the human race. and you will STOP, NOW, or we will make you. Wouldn’t that mean something? Wouldn’t that BE something. Not a stepping stone, but a wall. You either BE human or you be extinct. Had I that in my power, there would be some disappearances. with love, :^)gene

Today

Greetings Gene –

Here is your horoscope for Wednesday, December 26:

You may not be on top today, but you can tell that you still have a
strong chance at coming from behind and taking the lead. It’s a good
day to keep an even pace and let others wear themselves out.

You know, I think that might be a good idea. Not so sure even is how I’d term the day. But no bad news IS good news. And besides, I do have good news. The young woman from Saudi Arabia who was raped and sentenced to 200 lashes? Was pardoned. It would be cynical of me to suspect “king” saud of having taken notice of the international outrage and bowing to same. But I think that the truth. Those barbarians, those close personal friends of the Bush family, would have let that this  sentence, HAVE let that sentence be executed, countless times over the past, gawd, 800 at least, years,  They have been doing this to women for all that time. Isn’t it time the world called, time out, and said NO MORE, to such practices? If you do such things, religiously or not, you are a step outside the human race. and you will STOP, NOW, or we will make you. Wouldn’t that mean something? Wouldn’t that BE something. Not a stepping stone, but a wall. You either BE human or you be extinct. Had I that in my power, there would be some disappearances. with love, :^)gene

Enough already

I have just got to say that I am, well, if it actually mattered, worried about the outcome of this winter. Not so much the winter, as I think of it, but my tiny part in it. Because my dog just tried to kill me again. Okay, it might not have been him, but nothing should be moving that fast at 1 in the morning. Thank gawd, or dawg, the downhill part is full of snow cuz i hit the bricks again. Considering this is Christmas eve and I’ve already been down three times, one wonders what the three in one will bring. This one was easy, foolish, but soft. I’m thinking I might not get off so easy on the next. 3 and 1 is always the number, and Ive been down three times already, giggle. The one that is left will be the problem. It is tough to blame the puppy, considering he is right here behind me, panting away like always. No, I don’t think he is after me. Maybe I am, lol. And just don’t know it. Ah well, winter shall tell. :^) gene

A movie review

So, not much to say the past few days. Sort of been within, things have been odd, it is the season, partly, I’ve lost all sense of it, many years ago, maybe almost 11, maybe before that. But definitely since that. So, Jenna’s been having me watch some of the oddest movies, some on tv, some she’s had me rent. In each, as always, comes a place where she tells me “this is what I brought you here to see, my love”. Sweet, she really is. Which is one of the ways I am always sure who is who in there, giggle. Cuz, I am not always very sweet at all…

So – she’s tried to get me to rent this one several times, I’ve picked it up, looked at it and put it back. I knew what was in it, I thought, did NOT want to go there. It’s called Away From Her, it stars a woman I’ve not seen in a movie in many years, 20 or more, I’m sure, Julie Christie. That happens to most women in Hollywood, they disappear after 40, not all, but most. That isn’t the case with men. It is one of the things I find ludicrous about that entire industry. And why, for many years, I’ve avoided movies, unless strongly pushed – and really, jen is the only who who can push me, I’ve never let anyone else. That’s sort of an aside. :^)

So, I’ve kept putting this one back. The back of the jacket made clear what the story was about, I actually saw this story play out in real life, didn’t think I wanted to see it happen again. My maternal grandmother, in her mid-80’s, began to lose herself and by the time she died three years later, I saw the hell that puts those who love them through. My grandfather drove the 15 miles or so in to see her every day. He was still strong and capable, there were many of his contemporaries in that place. I know she did not know him, or at least not much, during most of those last two years. He spent most of the next five years, sort of looking off into space. Sometimes, he’d say a thing, like, “I don’t know why I have to live so long”. When he fell and broke his hip in July of 1977, a few months after my son died, they set it just fine, sent him to that nursing home to rehabilitate and he died in his sleep his second night there. The last two years this disease had begun in him too, short term memory loss only really, but strong evidence of that. Still, I think he died of a broken heart, after 66 years of marriage, he couldn’t bear life without her. I admired that then and I do now too.

So I figured I knew what this movie was about and kept putting back on the shelf. Friday night I finally took it home with me and tonight, I watched it. It is an amazing movie. Julie Christie has lost NONE of her talent, Gordon Pinset is marvelous as her husband, and Olympia Dukakis is a powerful presence in the movie too. Worth watching. Sad, fair warning, there is nothing easy about this disease. And I did not enjoy reliving what I had seen once before. But it wasn’t that experience that jen brought me there to see. There’s a line late in the movie, where Olympia Dukakis says: “It is never too late to become what you might have been.” THAT, is where jen whispered to me that was why she brought me to this movie. I suppose that is true, or must be to some extent. I do know people, and of people, who have been marvels long after the rest of us have settled for rocking chairs. I guess it is encouragement in a way. I know it is supposed to be. But I’m sick and crabby and resistant at the moment, still, I had to stop and get that line right. I know it is important. I know it is true. And I’m sure a day is coming when I’ll care about it in a way I can’t, not right now, not right after watching that. For now, I need to think about my grandparent’s a bit. Christmas Eve was always spent with them. So tonight, on the night before that, I want to relax into my tears and travel a bit down memory lane. Gots enough snow here for a sleigh ride, but I think I’ll do this under a comforter instead.

Not at all sure I’ll get back here for a couple days, at least, though I intend to come back to the books, I’ve not finished what I began there. Even if you thought I forgot, giggle, it isn’t my mind that is going. Nor will it be, jen tells me, which is good, I think, but watching this happen to anyone isn’t easy. Because there is no hope to give. I want to think about that for a bit too. Why that should be, I mean? Anyway, for a couple days, I’m going to let the season in, a little, and hope that all of you have a safe and happy holiday. Much love, :^) gene

The movie ends with a Neil Young song, sung by kd lang, whom I have not always been fond of, on a personal level, but whose music I do love. So what would a post from me be without at least one link? :^) I liked this song a lot, it was perfect where it was, where it is, because ultimately that is where Alzheimer’s leaves its victims.

Neil Young is incredibly talented and so is kd lang. Helpless

Artist: Lang K D
Song: Helpless (Neil Young)

There is a town in north Ontario,
With dream comfort memory to spare,
And in my mind
I still need a place to go,
All my changes were there.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless
Baby can you hear me now?
The chains are locked
and tied across the door,
Baby, sing with me somehow.

Blue, blue windows behind the stars,
Yellow moon on the rise,
Big birds flying across the sky,
Throwing shadows on our eyes.
Leave us

Helpless, helpless, helpless.

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light, and remember it is never too late to become what you might have been. :^) gene

But does it?

As I have often done, I am sharing a Steve Goodier piece here. But I disagree with him. Vehemently. Not in his basic principle, but in its particular application. I’ll be back after. :^)
CHANGING THE WORLD, ONE CLIP AT A TIME

What can one person possibly do in this large world? How can one
person or one small group accomplish anything significant to help
bring people together in understanding and peace? Listen to this true
and moving story .

In 1998 deputy principal and football coach David Smith, at Whitwell
Middle School (Whitwell, Tennessee) attended a teacher training course
in nearby Chattanooga. He came back and proposed that an after-school
course on the Holocaust be offered at the school. This — in a school
with hardly any ethnic and no Jewish students.

English and social sciences teacher Sandra Roberts was selected to
teach, and in October, 1998 she held the first session. She began by
reading aloud from Anne Frank’s DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL and Elie
Wiesel’s NIGHT. She read aloud because most of the students could not
afford to buy books.

What gripped the eighth graders most as the course progressed was the
sheer number of Jews put to death by the Third Reich. Six million.
They could hardly fathom such an immense figure.

One day, Roberts was explaining to the class that some compassionate
people in 1940s Europe stood up for the Jews. After the Nazis invaded
Norway, many courageous Norwegians expressed solidarity with their
Jewish fellow citizens by pinning ordinary paper clips to their
lapels, as Jews were forced to wear a Star of David on theirs.

Then someone had the idea to collect six million paper clips to
represent the six million Holocaust victims. The idea caught on, and
the students began bringing in paper clips … from home, from aunts
and uncles and friends. They set up a Web page (you may visit
http://www.whitwell middleschool. org/ to learn more). A few weeks
later, the first letter arrived — then others. Many contained paper
clips. By the end of the school year, the group had assembled 100,000
clips. But it occurred to the teachers that collecting six million
paper clips at that rate would take a lifetime.

The group’s activities spilled over from Roberts’ classroom. Soon it
was called the Holocaust Project. Across the hall, students created a
concentration camp simulation with paper cutouts of themselves pasted
on the wall. Chicken wire stretched across the wall to represent
electrified fences. Wire mesh was hung with shoes to represent the
millions of shoes the victims left behind when they were marched to
death chambers. And they reenacted the “walk” to give students at
least an inkling of what people must have felt when Nazi guards
marched them off to camps.

Meanwhile, the paper clip counting continued. Students gathered for
their Wednesday meeting, each wearing the group’s polo shirt
emblazoned: “Changing the World, One Clip at a Time.” All sorts of
clips arrived — silver and bronze colored clips, colorful plastic-
coated clips, small clips, large clips, round clips, triangular clips
and even clips fashioned from wood. The students filed all the letters
they received in ring binders.

They obtained an authentic German railroad car from the 1940s, one
that may have actually transported victims to camps. The car was to be
turned into a museum to house all the paper clips (tens of millions
have already arrived), as well as to display the many letters received
from around the world.

When the project is finally completed, for generations of Whitwell
eighth graders, a paper clip will never again be just a paper clip.
Instead, it will carry a message of perseverance, empathy,
tolerance and understanding. One student put it like this: “Now, when
I see someone, I think before I speak, I think before I act and I
think before I judge.”

Can one person, or one small group, truly do anything to help bring
humanity together in understanding and peace? Just ask the students at
Whitwell and all of those around the world who are helping them to
collect paper clips!

– Steve Goodier

And here, is where I’m going to disagree. It is wonderful that we care about those six MILLION Jews taken by the holocaust. But who is speaking for the children of Darfur? Of the Sudan. Of Somalia? It isn’t over, Steve. It has barely begun. And THAT is what we should be thinking about. Not what was, but what WILL be, if WE, US, HERE, NOW, do not stop it. That is the task we face, that evil has hidden its face behind a burkqa does not make it any the less evil. Will the world meet this challenge? Or will it hide its face as it did while Hitler tried to kill europe? My guess? We have no more civil conscience now than we did then. We will pretend evil is just another way, until it gets in our way. And, pray then, we have the strength to defeat it. And I am defining evil simply as that which will not allow another a differing opinion. Do you doubt this is possible? Then welcome to your future. :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

A girl like me.

A girl like me

What I want to talk about this morning is this video. It was made by a young black woman and it is a series of vignettes in which young black women talk about what it is like to be a young black woman in this free country in the 21st century. I’d like the world to see this video. All of it, the world I mean. It speaks to the “closeted” racism so deeply embedded into not only American society but in to the very psyche of the entire world, including that part of the world which is primarily dark-skinned.

Pay particular attention, please, to the young woman who replicates research used by Dr. Kenneth Clark the landmark case Brown versus Board of Education. Her research is just the saddest part of this entire video, for me. Even at those very young ages, those children have already been conditioned to think that white is better. The little girl who was asked to give the researcher the “bad” doll, SO wanted to give her the black one, you can see the conflict within her as she pushed the black doll forward. We thought we got rid of racism in this country a long time ago. We pride ourselves on being a colorblind society. We are fooling ourselves. Racism is as alive now as it was in the 1950’s when Dr. Martin Luther King began to speak against institutional racism and was murdered for his efforts.

The point these young women drive home well is amazingly insightful. Virtually every other population group in this country, or any other, knows their heritage, the country of origin and often something of the culture and mores of the original home. African-Americans, have none of that sense of history. They know they came here from Africa but there are many regions, cultures and different values in different countries in Africa, these children can never know that in the way that the rest of us do and take so granted.

I honestly think the eventual answer is to lose all ethnic cultures, for this world to become, one people. I visited the Body World exhibit while it was here last year and it made such an impact on me, not only for the excellence of the presentation but for the absolute realization that when you remove our skin, our “color”, underneath we are the same species, with interchangeable parts and identical structures. We are NOT 200 different countries, and many times that different cultures, we are all, under our skin, the SAME people. We have to expand our vision of family, beyond the narrowness of us versus them, to understand, accept and embrace, that we are all one people. Yes, we have different understandings and different experiences depending on the area of the world we grow up, but we NOT what we think. We are not “just” catholic or lutheran or buddhist or white, black, yellow or brown. We are one people living on one world. And the sooner we embrace that idea, that TRUTH, and realize that all the separates are various human inventions and conventions, we will be able to move forward together, to grant equality and the right to the pursuit of happiness to all people no matter where on this world we live. Then will we become a civilization, then and only then will we be able and willing to afford the same opportunities to all of our people and all of our children. Then we can approach issues, cultural difference, medical issues and educational issues from a global and equal position. We are taking baby steps toward this goal now, young people like Kiri Davis. who made this film, are leading us now. showing us what We Really Are and what we need work on – in the same way, albeit much more gently, that Adolph Hitler showed us the worst of what we can be. I’m hopeful, truly hopeful that this is the beginning of a New Age. Young women like this one, young people like her are showing us what we can be. We only need open our hearts and listen. Much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

How NOT to walk your dog

About a month ago, I told you how not to go down the basement steps with a dog, while carrying a bicycle. When I wrote that, it seemed okay, and then I learned just how long it takes for an injury to the bursa between the patella and knee joint to heal. Though I never had trouble walking, it turns out that it takes weeks to heal fully. Two weeks after that little headlong dive down the stairs, I also learned that when your knee bleeds gravity has an effect, giggle, because my whole darn leg turned all the colors of the rainbow, and hurt all the way to my ankle. Never anything earth-shattering, just annoying. But very colorful. :^)

So, this is the same story, but with a twist, the ending? Well, I think I will have to wait a while to write that, because I suspect, as with the dive down the basement steps, I am going to be finding out slowly just what I damaged and how badly.

See this story starts almost 12 years ago. Brandon and I got Cisco on January 5th, 1996. Two days before Brandon’s 20th birthday. Cisco was ALL he wanted. His brother had a wonderful dog already, Misty the Wonder dog, who could do anything, with flash and elan and grace. She was so smart and so beautiful and so loving, so it sort of followed the pattern of their lives, if Evan had it, Brandon wanted it too. I mean they were but 17 months apart, this part isn’t rocket science.

So he and I went to the Anoka County Humane society to find a dog. Well, when we walked in the door, there was this cage huge enough for five dogs, and in it was this tiny little puppy, who looked right at us and got sassy immediately. They said he was too young to be back with the others. So we went back and looked at a LOT of dogs, gawd, I love dogs, I grew up with them, one actually raised me, more than my parents, in my opinion, and for that matter, I think in just about every way, dogs are better people than people are. Except for that whole butt sniffing thing. Anyway, we looked at all sorts of adorable dogs, but he couldn’t choose. There was this pair of half-shepherd pups that were 4 months old, but we didn’t have room for two dogs and I couldn’t bear to separate them, I really wanted them adopted together. I have no idea if that happened. Their names were Pancho and Cisco – from the oldie tv show. Since we couldn’t decide amongst them, Brandon said, lets go look at that little one again, so we did. He looked me right in the eye and yapped at me, I stuck my finger in the cage to touch him and he bit me, then smirked. YES, it was a smirk. He can still do it. So we decided, okay, we’ll take the little one.

As I was signing the check, the women behind the counter said, you might notice that he is a little noisy. I thought, what? They all bark. But we started to understand what they meant on the drive home. He whined – happily, the ENTIRE time. That night, we put him in a big box next to Brandon’s bed, his room adjoins mine, and Cisco cried ALL night long. He would cry until his little voice would give out with a croak, he’d wait two minutes and start again. ALL night long. The next morning Brandon told me, “dad, I don’t think I can handle another night like that”, I said, me either. So we put him in the basement the next night, not in a box. During the night, he shredded, this aluminum wrapper sort of insulation I have against the outside walls, as high as he could reach, into the tiniest pieces you can imagine, the floor literally looked like it was MADE of aluminum foil. And we could still hear him. And this is a quiet place, well sound-proofed, I have NEVER heard a noise from another home, but I could hear HIM through the vents. So, from his third night, he slept with Brandon, and never cried again. That was all he wanted. Someone with him. He was the last of a litter of 7, he was 7 weeks old when we got him and he weighed 7 pounds and 7 ounces. It was meant to be, giggle.

Okay, so that winter we did not know what dog urine will do to grass. We let him go right out front of the door and in the spring the bushes were dead as well as all the grass. A friend of Brandon’s, that next spring told me that dog urine is actually a powerful fertilizer, if it is diluted, it is so concentrated that it causes the burn. So I started, and so did Brandon, carrying water out with us, to flush wherever he whizzed. It worked, has for 12 years. But this year is different, that damn tumor means he can’t move like he used to, he doesn’t leap tall snow drifts in a single bound anymore. And he knows he can’t. Which is sad. Because one of the fun things about winter with him, is that he loves the cold, he has such a thick coat (which he sheds all year long, and ferociously twice each year) that to him, winter, no matter how cold, is just another day, giggle. I mean, he’d run out there, crash around like he does, stick his face in a drift, then lie down and look at us, like, “what?” isn’t the isn’t this just the bestest day? He LOVED when we’d get a big snow and the plows would pile up these huge walls across our little drive, he just go charging out there and crash right through them, then poke his head back up to see if what noticed how cool he did that. He’d just jump back over, and then go to the end of our drive where they pile it all, and climb the snow mountains. NEVER content to just do his stuff at the bottom, ALWAYS somewhere up on top of that damn thing, so I’d have to climb to pick up his treasure. I am sure he thinks I am the strangest person on earth as I follow him around picking up every last thing he excretes and telling him what a good boy he is. I mean who does that? Giggle. That was NOT an easy adjustment for me, lol, on the farm it didn’t matter what they did or where, but in the city it does, and he is the first dog I’ve had live with me since 1970.

Picking that stuff up is not one of my favorite things, but I learned how, and I got used to it. But things changed, last year was the first year he couldn’t do his normal routine anymore. He still crashed through, but I had to go over and help him get back onto our side. That was sad. And he stopped doing that. That is sad. I don’t want him to be old. He’s a baby, dammit. So, well, to the point of this story. This year we got early snow for the first time in years, suddenly the boundaries changed for him again and he knew he couldn’t crash over those spots he used to. So he has started just stopping and whizzing on our front yard. Which I know means the grass will be dead come spring. So I have still been following him with my big red bucket and flushing wherever he goes. And it is cold now too. Which means that flushing runs to the street and freezes. Yes, that is where this is going. Tonight, I had errands, so I was later getting home than usual, and I put on my womens boots (see earlier post for THAT nonsense) and took him out. He went into his usual spot, and so did I, but as I approached it, I noticed it looked different, icy. Unfortunately noticing that wasn’t enough to make me stop walking. Hit the ice, fell down, went boom, managed to save 3/4’s of the water in the bucket but I was laying in the rest of it. As I hit, I thought, oh chit, this is gonna hurt tomorrow. And I’m sure it will cause it sure hurt then, then I noticed how flipping cold I was, and wet. And he is still standing there like King Solomon making a big decision.

I asked him, please, puppy, be quick tonight, I have GOT to get out of these wet pants. You have NO idea how cold soaking wet jeans feel in 7 degrees, unless you have experienced it. Fortunately, he was intent on taking care of the rest of his business and did so, relatively soon. So we’re back inside, I’m dry again, he was patient waiting for his treat cuz he knew something was not right with grandpa, I am just grateful I didn’t yell or he would have headed for the hills as usual and I’d probably still be looking for him in those frozen stiff jeans. I don’t hurt yet. I feel tenderness, which I know is really not, giggle. So over the next few days I will be discovering just how many parts of my body hit and how hard. 58 sucks. Things were a lot easier when I was a lot younger, giggle. But I don’t bounce like I used to. I land now. Hard. Thank gawd I grew up on that farm and drank all the milk, or I’d have broken more bones than Santa has presents, in the last damn month!

This is going to be one hell of an interesting winter. I hope I survive it. And him too. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

What a month

This has been one of the oddest months of my life. A lot happening, yes, and reason for some of what I feel but what I feel changes so much from moment to moment, not just day to day, that it is making me a little more insane than usual. I don’t think a day has passed in weeks that I haven’t had something make me cry like a baby. I’m not a weeper by trade. I do get misty from time to time and there are memories that can bring me to my knees – this season from Thanksgiving through February 11th, has been hard since Brandon died, but, you know, that was, or will be 11 years ago. Apart from the complicated bereavement stuff, this time of year has been bearable for several years or so I thought. But what I think varies so much from day to day, moment to moment, and Jenna really isn’t any help with this, she simply says it is what must be right now. But it is making me a little more up and down than I am comfortable with. Anything, and I mean anything, can not only bring tears to my eyes, but streaming down my checks, I am practically afraid to turn the television on lately. But last night she had me watch a Jennifer Garner movie, now I like Jennifer Garner, I never watched her television series, but I have enjoyed her in a couple movies, one of them the girl version of Big – like the Tom Hanks movie, I even like the comic book one she did with Ben Affleck, but this one last night just really got to me for some reason. It was Catch and Release, one version of, or another, I have been playing all my life. But it isn’t as simple as tears, it is more than that, and I’m not sure what. Or why. One moment I feel like I have answers, the next I feel like I don’t even know what the questions are. So jenna sings me: Witness

Witness

Make me a witness
take me out
out of darkness
out of doubt
I won’t weigh you down
with good intention
won’t make fire out of clay
or other inventionsWill we burn in heaven
like we do down here
will the change come
while we’re waitingEveryone is waiting
And when we’re done
soul searching
as we carried the weight
and died for a cause
is misery
made beautiful
right before our eyes
will mercy be revealed
or blind us where we stand
Will we burn in heaven
like we do down here
will the change come while we’re waiting
everyone is waiting

Then has me turn on my radio in the car where Afterglow is playing and I hear: Answer

“Answer”

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can’t look down
If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You’ll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight
If it takes my whole life
I won’t break, I won’t bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
‘Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You’ll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

And I wonder just what is going on within? I know it is caught up in the son who is gone, worry about the son who is not, worry about my mother and worry about Cisco. I wonder sometimes if I can find a way to cast me gently into morning, for as gawd’s own truth, the nights of late have been most unkind. Ah well, there’s no where to go but up, right? Right? Please say right. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Let’s talk golf, giggle

Specifically women’s golf.

But first a word from our sponsor. Me. :^). I’ve been a sports fan all my life, what else did a kid growing up on a farm in the middle of Minnesota have to do? I mean one who had no interest in farming, who was sure he had been born in the wrong place and time and who had nothing whatsoever in common with anyone else in his family, but for one blessed, special uncle, my Mom’s youngest brother, Jim, who was but 15 when I was born and my childhood hero. He, too, escaped the farm, for a life in the big city, lol. But he’d come home weekends and play games with me, catch until my hand hurt so bad I nearly cried, but never did, because I could not, would not, disappoint him. He was both practicing and teaching, I knew that then and I know it now. So my love for sports came from him. I didn’t have the physical size to excel but I had the talent to do so. I was the starting shortstop on a men’s softball team when I was 12, lol. One night they had no one to fill and asked me, and I played with those guys for five years. I played everything they offered at my high school, but there my lack of size meant lack of opportunity, I could DO anything, but basketball is hard when you’re 5′6″, it was then and it is now, and if you also weigh 120 pounds, so is football, though I made varsity my 9th grade year because of my speed, blowing out a knee sort of turned my interest. There’s a lot more to that and I won’t go into that here, but I wanted to establish “creds” as a male athlete before I do what I’m going to do next here, which is essentially turn on my gender, giggle.

When I enlisted in the Army, as I explained on the main site, primarily to avoid being sent to Viet Nam and to be able to choose my own specialty – which as it turned out I didn’t do as wisely as I thought I did. I chose clerical, I mean I thought how dangerous can typing be? What I didn’t know was that every company in the army, including every infantry company, had a company clerk, who was not only privileged to carry an M-16 but also a portable typewriter. So, I didn’t quite outsmart anyone but me with that choice. I tried on their tests though – we were given a battery of tests I don’t believe ANY corporation rivals to this day. Every question that had to do with physical activity, I failed. Do you like to camp? NO. Do you like to hunt? No. Do you like to fish? No. Do you like walking in the woods? NO. Even though I spent more days of my life in our woods than I did in my room. They were tricky, they’d ask the same question, in slightly different ways, in various places throughout a three hour test. I think I caught ‘em all. But that part about the clerical need in infantry companies, well, how the hell would I know about that?

So, after 8 weeks of Basic Training, I got sent to clerical school. It was a self-paced program, you finished as fast as you could do it. I already knew how to type. I finished a four week program in two days. And got sent, because they had to have SOMETHING for me to do, to a basic training company where I was their acting company clerk. Which is where I realized that clerical wasn’t quite as safe as I had thought. The bonus was that the first 10 finishers in the clerical program got sent to Fort Benjamin Harrison which is in Indianapolis and is the main financial center of the United States Army. I hope that isn’t divulging a secret or Homeland Security will be knocking on my door later this evening, giggle. While I was there, at that basic training company, one of the NCO’s, (non-commissioned officers, giggle) invited me to play golf with him. I didn’t play golf. I didn’t even really know what it was. Look, at my little high school, with 63 of us in my graduating class, which was the largest senior class they had ever had, there were four sports. Football, basketball, track and baseball. All for boys. None for girls. WAY before Title 9. Since I didn’t play, he said, well, walk along with me then. So I did. And discovered that golf courses are incredibly beautiful places. Of course, the air was filled with military sounds, which consist primarily of words one does not say in mixed company. An aside, you would NOT believe how bad the language gets when there are nothing but guys in a room, or a barracks, or a boardroom. I decided THEN I was going to learn to play that game. It was the game of the gentry. A group I intended to join. I enlisted to avoid Viet Nam, yes, but also to get the GI bill which was the only hope I had of going to college. That I was second in my school in the ACT exam didn’t matter, my parents were poor, horrible credit, no loans for this boy. And I SAW what credit did to them, I was not going to borrow money for school. But the GI bill, and my ingenious plan to be a clerk would foil all that. mmmhmmm. Well, best laid plans and all that.

But, as those of you who have looked at my main site know, I’ve had a guardian all my life. And she kept me safe through that too. Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten golf, I am just meandering. Those of you who have seen my main site, or read any of this, know that is another tendency, but I do, almost always, come back to point. And I will tonight as well. There were 200 of us who started that class in Finance School at Benjamin Harrison – it turns out that the army needed finance specialists, payroll personnel, in Viet Nam too. The only real safety there is that they did not do foot patrols, they just worked in a central office and a couple nights a week stood guard duty out on the outer perimeter, set up the clay mores (mines), and watched to be sure the Viet Cong did not breach. When my finance class graduated, 197 of us were sent directly to Viet Nam. Three of us were not. I was one of those three. I was instead placed in a category called “waiting for orders” which meant they didn’t know what to do with me and so had me doing odd jobs around the base until those orders arrived. What that meant mostly was that the three of us walked the perimeter of the base with little sticks with nails on the end snagging cigarette butts and putting them in our little bags. Yeah, that was boring. After three weeks, my orders arrived, I was to go to Oakland Army Base, after a thirty day leave. Which I did. Oakland Army Base was a transition station, for guys going to and coming back from Viet Nam. My duties were simple. I did audits on the payroll records of guys coming back who were being discharged, which meant I went through their entire payroll record, recomputed everything from dates of promotion, to leave times, to balances due and paid. Then prepared their separation voucher, split that in half, the days of not carbon paper, but there were five copies, you had to press hard, that separated into two pieces, one of two sheets and one of three. We split those up and ran separate tallies, then compared to be sure the numbers were right. Then those guys got to go home. It was a good job. I got great with a ten key adding machine. We worked in three shifts, because out-processing never stopped, no guy was kept a minute longer than he had to be. My shift was early 6:45 to 2:45, which left me plenty of time to get into mischief – which I will talk about another time, I was a high school grad who was there with a dozen other new guys all of whom were already college grads, one of whom attended UC Berkley. I learned a lot there. Most of which I will never put in this blog, giggle. I had the privilege of having a wild night with a good friend from back home before he shipped out to Nam and died there, the last of his friends and family to see him. I treasure that memory – though there was certainly an ugly side to it, which I won’t bring up, again, here, giggle. The Beatles White Album came out while I was there. I saw an original copy of the original cover in a little headshop up near Berkley’s campus – John and Yoko nude, which I wish to hell I had bought cuz gawd what would THAT be worth today, lol. Probably the same as my baseball cards, which my mother threw away while I was gone – original Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris cards, I had ALL of every team, sigh. Okay, back to OARB, I saw San Francisco while I was there, Golden Gate Park, Haight-Ashbury, Sausalito, and if you’ve ever seen any of those car chase scenes in any San Francisco detective movie, where they are going what seems like straight downhill and flying through intersections? Well, I did that too, only in my version we got broadsided, lol. It was 1969 and San Francisco was peace and love, man. Except for the riots. You can go look that part up yourself, giggle.

Well, nothing that good lasts forever, and so just after Christmas, all of us, roughly 12, who had been sent there in October, got new orders, this time all of them went to Viet Nam, except me. I got sent to Germany. There is a story in between here that I am not going to tell now, but those 30 days in between changed my life, in a lot of ways. Anyway, when I landed in Frankfurt, it turned out Germany was full. So they sent me to Italy, Venice. All I saw of the Matterhorn was the tip of that hand, lol, and when I got to Venice, IT was full too. Though it was amusing, because the First Sergeant (next to top of the heap in enlisted ranks) said he’d never seen as high a GQ as mine – that is the military version of the IQ test, and the one I never found a trick question in, so just answered – and he said he wished he could keep me just to see what I could do, giggle. But, they were full too. So he sent me to Livorno, Leghorn in our language, actually a place called Camp Darby, situated halfway between Pisa and Livorno, on the Italian Riviera. The major port for goods being shipped to Europe, from which they were flown to American bases around Europe, remember this was 1969, still just over 20 years past WWII and we had a MAJOR presence all over Europe then. It was from that place that I volunteered for a tour of duty in Viet Nam, giggle, the kid who enlisted to avoid it, volunteered. Yeppers, that is true. But another story. And I had better get back to golf, giggle.

I was discharged from the Army at OARB, how is that for symmetry? And I got robbed there too, which was a complaint I had heard before but never believed. You had to have a strip down physical if you were getting out, so you put all your belongings in a little bag, which when I got it back, no longer held my sapphire ring nor the gold watch my uncle had given me. So I believed the stories then. But, was NOT going to waste a minute worrying about those things, I had an airplane to catch. And I caught it.

Veterans did not have to take the mandatory physical education credits in college that everyone else did. But I did anyway, I took fun ones. One of them was golf. That first summer back, even though I had been in college for two quarters, the second of which I took a phy ed class in golf, I was able to draw unemployment, it was a guarantee for vets, so I did. Same money as my GI bill, but nothing to do. So I found Wapicada. You could play all day out there for $5. As many holes as you wanted. Huge practice range, a place where you could practice putting and chipping, a practice bunker, you could move as far away as 60 yards and hit shots to that green. I would go out in the morning, hit range balls, play 18, go home for lunch, come back, practice chipping and putting and play another 18, all for the same $5. It was the summer from heaven, honest to gawd. It would have helped if I had as much natural talent for THAT game as I did all others. But I didn’t. And I had no money for lessons. But I played. And played. And, over the course of time, some of which I may detail here, later, I eventually got to be decent at the game. Which brings us back to the game.

Golf is always called a “gentleman’s” sport. Which it really is. You will not meet many nicer people than you will on a golf course. It is not a game where you root against the other person, because it is a game you are playing yourself against the course, not another person. Except for tournament play, both amateur and professional. But there are ethical rules which apply regardless. And I have to tell you men are not the nicest competitors.

And now back to Womens Golf. I bet you thought I was never gonna get here, giggle. As it turns out, for me, the womens game, both professional and at the high amateur levels, is much more like mine, than the highest levels of mens golf. It took me a while to come to this realization, of course, after all, I am a guy. :^). But they hit their clubs the same distance I do, they face the same type and length of second shots I do, their course management, well if I could DO that, would be like mine. And they are tremendously talented. None of what I just said means they are less than professional male golfers. What I just said is that their game is one the REST of us play. Except for the very elite amateurs and professionals, no one hits the ball 350 yards off the tee. We ALL have to play to avoid the hazards, to play the shot that, as Jack Nicklaus put it in the book I learned to play from (Golf My Way), makes the next shot easy. And the women are superb at this. They are incredibly entertaining to watch. They play wonderful golf with which almost ALL golfers can identify. And, NONE of them think they are superstars. The best of the male golfers are like the best of male athletes in other sports, they travel with an entourage, you could not get close enough to whiff their cologne, let alone say hello. They are above we mere mortals. But you NEVER see that in the womens game. They understand sportsmanship (and yes, this time I say sportsMANship) better than any elite male athlete. Elite male athletes think they are gods. Elite female golfers, indeed, elite female athletes in general, think they are blessed. That is an ENORMOUS difference. And, as I have aged, I have come to realize that it is not only the quality of play that is important, but the quality of the person playing. And invariably, the highest quality person, playing at the highest level, is a woman. And, like in womens tennis, womens golf NEEDS parity, in purses. The disparity between what men play for, even the Senior Tour men, and what the women play for is just plain ridiculous. THEIR game, except for Tiger of course, is more entertaining to watch than any male tournament. Ladies – you have some catching up to do. I’m not going to hold my breath here, because this is a change that will take time. But it is a change that MUST happen, and will, because although what I am talking about here is athletics, what I am saying holds true across the spectrum of human experience, political, religious, spiritual, economic and human.

So. Now let me tell you about a happy experience I had that provoked all this, giggle. I got a blurb in my mail from something and it was about the US Women’s Open which is being played at Interlachen here in Minneapolis this coming summer. I really didn’t know it was here. I pay attention to womens golf, I WATCH a lot of womens golf, even to the point of dvring it, because I would rather watch them play then reruns of just about anything. It is FUN to watch, and with a dvr, you don’t have to watch commercials, giggle. Well, I got this thing in my email. So I clicked on a link and saw it was here, looked at the prices and decided, okay, this would be fun, but I’m not taking a week off to do this and though I support them, I just didn’t think I could afford that. So I looked for an email address to contact about the tournament. I started with the director, but figured, okay, she is going to talk to me? Then found the promotion’s directors name and email. Because they were offering a holiday package that included two days, ANY two days admission, plus a hat, for $95. I thought that was a mistake because the final rounds are the most expensive, so I wrote her. And she answered me the NEXT day, saying yes, you could use both those tickets ANY one day or one person could use them on ANY two days. Plus you get a hat. giggle. So – okay, I’m aged, but not THAT aged, I expect to still be here late next June, you know, most likely. sigh. (that is a different thing) So I thought what the hell, and ordered the package. They promised delivery by mid-December, in time for Christmas. I thought okay, cool. That was two days ago. And so below here is the email I sent that young genius, running their promotions as a thank you.

I wrote you a couple days ago inquiring about the Holiday package. You responded so quickly I was amazed. And impressed, and with exactly the information I wanted. So I ordered the Holiday package. And today, when I got home from work, I had an early Christmas present, lol. Absolutely amazing. I have NEVER had that quick a response to an order of any kind from anywhere, from my initial inquiry, to placing the order and receiving the merchandise. Now, I grant living in a Minneapolis suburb may have had something to do with the speed of delivery, but I feel compelled nonetheless to tell how I impressed I am with your service both in terms of time and quality. And I LOVE the hat. I’m going to have buy another one or two while I’m there since salt tends to ruin them and they really aren’t washable, unless you have somehow worked another miracle and this one is, giggle.

I really just wanted to say thank you, so feel free to share this. I so appreciate the women’s game – it is one with which most, and I do mean MOST golfers are more familiar than the men’s. Most golfers, and I include all men over 30, play a game far more similar to the women’s game than to the pga guys. No one hits the ball 350 yards but them. Granted, most golfers do not play with the precision, course management and talent that lpga quality women do either, but the distances we hit our clubs and the length of second shots we face and course management decisions too, are much more comparable to the professional women’s game than to the pga tour – those guys are like aliens, the women are like human. And I appreciate it. I also appreciate the size of the purse that the women play for at the Open. I think it ridiculous that the mens senior tour plays for so much more money than do the women. I see NO reason golf should not have parity, as the professional women tennis players have finally managed to achieve, or very close anyway, to the men’s game. I think if you promoted the women’s game as “every persons” game, you could launch a campaign that would begin the drive to real parity. Because the excitement, the quality, the competition are every bit the equal of the mens game, and the sportsperson ship is exceeded by no other sport of any kind. I’m 58 and have been a sports fan all my life, and am used to spoiled male athletes taking both their gifts and their fans for granted. The women who play the professional game NEVER do that. I can’t tell you how much that means to the average fan. No, I don’t plan to be standing in line for autographs, though there will be many young people there who will, and the women who play in this tournament will accommodate them, I know. I’ve seen them do so time and time again. :^) gene

Oh, and I promised I would promote this tournament often on my blog, giggle. So this is not the last you will hear of this, and this 2008 U.S. Women’s Open is not the last time you will see this reference either. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Just another day in Bushite world

I like that word, Bushite. It rhymes nicely with luddite, which of course they are, although Wikipedia defines them as “…This English historical movement has to be seen in its context of the harsh economic climate due to the Napoleonic Wars; but since then, the term Luddite has been used to describe anyone opposed to technological progress and technological change.” I sort of see it as those who would take us back to a simpler time when men were men and women were servants and objects of fear and hatred, the good old Dark Ages we talked about last night. And, of course, it also fits nicely with Shiite another group dedicated to the same cause. If I were a more suspicious man, I’d suspect collusion between the fundamentalists of the Republican party and the fundamentalists of the Islamic religion – all aimed at taking us back to the Dark Ages, whatever the cost in human suffering.

What pains me today is an article I read about the effect of President Bush’s proud effort to restrain the out of control spending on Medicaid, whose budget for next year is roughly 196 billion dollars. This is a program that provides services to the mentally retarded, not a group with a strong lobbying presence in Washington these days. The bill takes specific aim at targeted case management, a way of coordinating services to citizens in need of multiple assists, who formerly had to negotiate on their own myriad governmental agencies and programs, on their own, provided they, or someone who loved them, could find those sources at all.

The President’s fancy new law, reduces by 20% the money set aside to help people in dire need of medical and psychological care, housing, jobs, education (for those educable to begin with) , parenting help – which I can tell you would have been of significant help to London Sherwood, who was removed from life support and died three months to the day after she was born. Her short life filled with pain, bleeding on her brain, fractures to her ribs and legs, at the hands of her 21 year old father, who was left in his charge by an overwhelmed and addicted mother. Or the 7 year old boy beaten to death by his mother’s boyfriend for wetting the bed, or 6 month old suffocated by a drunken father who tried to still his child’s crying by holding a quilt over the child’s face. Nope, no need for parenting programs, we come biologically equipped to nurture our young. Don’t we? And we certainly don’t need no stinking government program to teach us nothing about THAT.

The Congress in its typical stalwart defense of the innocent, is trying to stay “execution” (and if that is not an APT word, I have never heard one) of Bush’s Draconian cuts to the only program we have that truly cares for those who cannot care for themselves. Because its costs are just out of control. Unlike, say, a war that will never produce a single “win” and for which we have happily thrown a trillion and a half dollars down the rabbit hole. Sometimes, the leadership in this country just makes me sick. This is one of those times. Pandering, spineless, pukes that they are, they on both sides who have allowed such a thing to happen. Who passed a law that is going to cause as much pain to as many people as possible, not quite as bloody as the war they rage on Iraqi’s but every bit as lethal. It is days like this that I wished I believed in Hell. :^( gene

Odds and Ends

Random thoughts maybe. Odd things have been running through my mind. Well, anyone who’s looked at the main site already knows that. I’m just talking about the past few days.

It turns out I hate Christmas music. The last few years it has annoyed me more each year. I do NOT want those songs running through my head. At 58, I could go the rest of my life happily never hearing “I’m dreaming of” again, or anything at all to do with sleigh bells in the snow. I have been listening to the same music by the same artists for two months of every year of my and I am god awful sick of it. All of it. I cringe in elevators, stores, at commercials. I wonder why it is that no one in the last 100 years has managed to come up with a new song. New artists, yes, singing the same old songs. I wonder if that isn’t part of what I think is wrong with our world. We are absolutely unable to break free of our past. And our future is being held hostage. Maybe those songs are just part of what I feel about that. I am so ready for a change and what I get is White Christmas. Again.

My dog, who some of you have met on my other site, Cisco, is 12 years old, just a month over. He’s been with me for what will be 12 years on January 5th, or in my home, he’s been mine for what will be 11 years on February 11th. Somehow the idea of losing him had never occurred to me until what will be two years this May. He began having difficulty moving his bowels, yeah, I know, nice conversation. But if you’re eating dinner while reading this, well, then that’s your own fault. He had an enlarged prostate, and the fix for what was causing his difficulty, I was told. So I had him neutered. Brandon didn’t want to do that and I’ve honored his wishes all these years, but I thought Cisco’s life and comfort more important finally and so agreed. That went well, but the symptoms only improved a little. Last April they got a lot worse, so I took him in early for his annual visit – he’s figured out he doesn’t like the place. EVERY time I’ve taken him there, he’s moved his bowels nicely, right in the middle of their waiting room. He NEVER does that anywhere else. But he does there. But he was having real trouble with that then and I was worried, turned out that being there helped quite a lot. A real LOT. In several places. Repeatedly. Which made the reason I brought him in suddenly seem a little silly. But they took him in back for nails and to check him out and when his veterinarian brought him back to me, she said she had bad news. He has a tumor, she wanted to biopsy it the next week but she felt sure it was cancer.

Until then I simply had not thought about losing him. Dogs on the farm, large mixed breeds, those that survived, lived long and I was expecting him at 115 pounds and very tall to do the same. It was an unhappy weekend, I spent it thinking thoughts I wasn’t ready to face. He is the only grandchild I will ever have from Brandon and my last living connection to my son. He was not happy about going back the next Monday morning. He acted like he was being punished. And I felt like that was what I was doing. They called me about three and asked me to wait til 5:30 to pick him up as he was slow coming out of the anesthesia. I did that. She told me right away that it wasn’t cancer, but that it was inoperable as well. I could not pin her down on what that meant. She just kept saying if he got worse, I’d know and it would be time to decide what to do then. She gave me a recommendation for a human medicine to soften his stool that she thought might help. He’s a big dog and there’s a lot of room back there, it depends on whether the tumor grows or not. Well, I’ve only had to use that stool softener a few times over the summer but the past month has been different. It doesn’t seem to work any more. He’s not in discomfort, I can still the shine in his eyes, but he has this urge he can’t control, that produces nothing, or virtually nothing. When he was little he’d take anything I gave him. Not so any longer. I have to hide the medication in a piece of cheese which he swallows without chewing, sort of the way he eats meat. But the dosage now is far beyond what is recommended for humans and I am afraid that tumor is growing. And I don’t know what to do. I can’t lose him. I’m not ready for that. But I don’t want him in discomfort either.

So, we’ve got snow now, for the last three weeks and he’s decided that he must be IN snow when what little happens happens. It turns out that snow up ones pants leg isn’t comfortable. I haven’t owned a pair of boots in, well, probably 45 years. I’m not investing in $100 hiking boots that I’ll never use again once he is gone. So I decided I would violate my own principles and visit Wal-mart. I don’t like their policies, in any way, and I never shop there, but I decided cheap was what I wanted, something I could just throw away when I don’t need them any longer. And I’m honestly not sure I’ll need them this whole winter. I went there, down the mens aisle and found these $40 boots that looked liked they’d do the trick but, I was NOT going to spend that much money on something I don’t need and won’t ever use again. So I looked a bit more, it was a bit of a jumbled mess, and I found this pair of size 10 boots, which is a little odd because I have a size 8 foot, that fit, and were wide enough at the top so I could shove my pants down inside. I didn’t look beyond that, $17, so I bought them and when I got home I cut off the tags, cuz he needed to go out – that is one of the issues, he feels this urge so often, and when I cut the tags I noticed they were women’s boots. Which explains the size 10, I guess. And the damn things pull my socks off every time I take them off AND they have some sort of velcro from hell fastening in the back, horribly awkward things. But I hope need them several years. Gawd, I love that big puppy. But I am going to have to take him back to his vet, to see if there is something stronger to give him. Actually, I do know something that will work, but I only made that mistake once when he was a puppy – never give a puppy creamed corn. You’ll pay for that believe me. Still I am just worried so much about him. I don’t want him to hurt. Ever. I don’t “see” that right now, but I feel it.

So Christmas just isn’t feeling very Christmasy this year, thought that is NOT why I hate that music. My mother, 78 years old, easy to keep track of, she was 20 when I was born and her birthday is in January, so I just add 20 years and always know, has her own issues. She is living with my sister and brother in law, but is diabetic, with circulatory issues, blood pressure issues and now, some heart issues. She’s been in the hospital since last Thursday, they put in a pacemaker on Friday, but can’t get her blood pressure to come down from the 180’s no matter what drug they try. She sounds fine when I talk to her, looks fine, but still, they can’t get these things under control. Now her side of the family, well, both sides but for my dad and his dad, are long-lived, I expect many more years with her. It doesn’t matter what I thought at 7 in that first light, this is the woman who raised me and who has loved me with all heart, unreservedly, undeservedly and without hesitation all of my life. And my last real connection to my family as well. When she is gone the rest of it falls apart. I know. But I’m not ready to give her up either.

What a month it has been, if I could just somehow get rid of that music, I think I could deal with all this a little better. My son, as I mentioned earlier has had his own issues, but things are looking up a bit on that front, or possibly so. I wonder why it is that every christmas feels this way. They were never easy when the boys were little either, I never had much money, somehow every flipping year, something would happen, usually to my car, that ate up christmas present money. Things are better now than then, but the feeling hasn’t changed. I still hate this season. Not because I am anti-Christian or any nonsense like that, I am anti-the economic boom christmas is expected to be. Black Friday offends me, the commercialism of the season offends me. The American culture of spend, spend, spend, offends me. What the season was about when I was little was something softer. Yes, presents and trees, but spirit was present then, I always felt that. I haven’t in so long. I doubt I ever will again. I feel like a Stranger in a Strange Land, sort of outside looking in. It is an odd sensation but true. And I can’t help but wonder what another year will bring. As Taylor Swift sings, there’d be teardrops on my guitar, if I could play one. So it goes, life. One day I hope to understand it. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

A Little Rant on Religion(s)

Yes, again, or maybe still. I’ve seen a couple things that have just boggled my mind in recent days and have a couple things I want to say about them. I sort of began this with the story of the teddy bear “scandal” that caused what one might think were reasonable people, or maybe what one should expect reasonable people to be, when the woman teaching (yes, THERE to HELP the children of the Sudan) made the mistake of allowing the children in her classroom to name their teddy bear, Mohammad. She faced up to 40 lashes, was sentenced to 15 days in jail, which prompted a storm of protest against the leniency of this sentence. Fortunately a couple of more forward thinking British Muslim’s were able to secure a “pardon” for her and get her the hell out of Dodge. Wonderful people those fundamentalists, don’t you just love that sense of humor they are so well-known for? For them, it isn’t a matter of not getting the joke, it is a matter of having the jokester put to death, if at all possible. We might recall the calm with which they reacted to the satire, which literary device is apparently completely beyond them, perhaps it had not yet been invented in the 12th century, no, that can’t be right, I guess it really just IS the people of this time who have no sense of humor, let alone compassion.

So from that story, I want to move on to Mitt Romney. Sort of on the other side of the coin from Muslim fundamentalists but a fundie no less. He gave a very nice news conference last week in which he assured the citizens of the United States that although he is a pious man and therefore godly, that he would not let the tenets of his religion enter into his political decision-making process, while still managing to make clear that religion, not reason, would guide his decision-making. He actually said, “Freedom requires religion, just as religion requires freedom.” Oh, yeah, I want that one for President. He did not mention which particular religion is required. And, I just don’t remember on taking my own oath of service back when I was 18 that a particular religion was mentioned then either. He didn’t say how we’d decide that part. Or for that matter just what constitutes and actual religion. We’ve just had 8 years of that crap and look where we are now? Mired in a war that should never have been begun against an enemy that never fired so much as a shot at us for having weapons we knew they did not have. While forgetting all about the Taliban’s re-emergence in Afghanistan and their re-imposing on large segments of that country that wonderfully tolerant brand of Islam that refuses women the right to HAVE, let alone practice a profession, to leave their home without a male relative, to bear whatever punishment those dirty old men feel they deserve for crimes, such as the one I’m going to describe in a moment. Mr. Romney though he feels he is qualified to be the President of the United States apparently does not understand the concept embodied in our constitution about separation of church and state. Ours IS a secular society. Have faith, in whatever you wish, our constitution gives us that right, because our constitution does NOT require a religion or any religious litmus test at all in order to be a citizen of these United States. It was DESIGNED to be this way. Why? To protect us from the lunacy of those who would force their version of God on the rest of us at any cost, including our death. Oh, yes, I know him. And all those like him. They used to like burning women at the stake. I think somewhere deep in their dark little hearts they yearn for those days of glory to return. And if we let them, that is what we’ll get. More of the same bilious poison they have been spreading across the planet at point of sword since recorded history began. As a wise man in today’s paper pointed out, there was indeed a time when religion and government formed a perfect alliance, we now call that the Dark Ages. There are many here who want to extinguish all light but that which their torches bring as they burn heretics, heretics in this sense meaning everyone who does not agree with them, off the face of the planet. Yes, Mitt Romney, he’s our guy. Holy gawd, what we have come to.

Now then, the war against terrorism, or that part of which was supposed to find and bring to justice Osama bin Laden, has ALWAYS been in Afghanistan. Bush knows this, but after all, it was Saddam who tried to kill his daddy, so, first things first. And now we are a trillion and a half dollars into a fight that will matter not in the slightest in history because five minutes after the last American soldier leaves Iraq, assuming that ever actually happens, probably from the roof of a flaming embassy as the graceful exit from Viet Nam was conducted, will be a Muslim fundamentalist nation, following the resolution of the civil war which will follow our exit. Either Shiite like Iran or Sunni like Saudi Arabia. A real win-win no matter how you look at it. Oh, excuse, me that was a bit more of that sarcasm they seem not to get, or maybe get and just don’t like. Whatever.

So today, I read a story Brute Justice in which a brilliant young Muslim woman named Ayaan Hirsi Ali asks where are the moderate Muslims? Why are their voices not raised in indignation at the fundamentalist take over of their religion. You can read for yourselves the article, I hope you do, it is one of the most reasoned, moderate things I have ever read from an avowed Muslim. I am sure there will be a fatwah calling for her death by days end.

She quotes the Quran 24:2 thus: “The woman and the man guilty of adultery or fornication, flog each of them with 100 stripes: let no compassion move you in their case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day.” Well, if THAT is an example of the compassion and love moderate Muslim’s insist the Quran is based on, I’m one hoping that last day is tomorrow. Because people like that sort of leave a sour taste in ones soul, you know? So what happened in this instance to cause her to write about this enlightening verse? A 20 year old woman in Saudi Arabia, reported that she had been abducted and repeatedly raped by several men. But was the Court quick to her defense? Not quite. They found HER guilty, of “mingling”. When she was abducted she was in a vehicle with a man who was not related to her by blood or marriage, in other words, she asked for it. Her sentence? Six months in prison and 200 lashes with a bamboo cane. Ms. Ali points out that 200 lashes are enough to kill a strong man, even in the barbaric nation, our great friend, Saudi Arabia, women are normally not given more than 30 lashes. You know, in order not to actually kill them, so they will do her the great grace of meting out this crime against humanity over a seven week period. For mingling.

Ms. Ali mentions that around the world, and here in the United States, there are MANY organized groups quick to attack any perceived slight toward Islam and she asks, quite reasonably, WHERE THE HELL (okay that part is me, she actually WAS polite) are those defenders of moderate Islam now? How can we, and by we I mean all of us who are not Muslim, possibly trust them when they say the Quran is not violent, that it is full of peace, love and goodwill toward all? Just where are these moderates? Who is holding them hostage, who has stolen their voice? She mentions that when, in 2003, she noted in an interview she gave that by Western standards some of the Prophet Mohammad’s behavior would be considered unconscionable, four Muslim ambassadors were sent to the leader of her political party in the Netherland’s to demand she be expelled from their Parliament. They haven’t actually grown more tolerant in recent years either have they?

This, and do not think I excuse Western fundamentalists because in my opinion they are as backward, as violent and as barbaric as are fundamentalist Islamics. After all, 911 WAS caused by fornication and proponents of gay marriage was it not? I mean, we deserved that, according to our own fundies.

The title of her article says it all. And it is what we ALL have to fear from radical religions of all stripes, they know nothing but Brute Justice and they know nothing of compassion nor love. They are the greatest danger this planet faces. Still. I hope the moderate voices wake to this threat while we still have the freedom to use our voices and prevent that which these evil, barbaric men would bring to us once again, a new Dark Age. You thought 1984 was scary? Wait till you see what these people are capable of – and I don’t mean a couple of airplanes flown into buildings or the occasional taped beheading or even the brutalization of a young woman whose only crime was to trust a man who was not related to her by blood or marriage. The fires of Hell will burn on this planet if moderate voices are not raised, if reason is not defended, if love and forgiveness are driven under the blood-soaked ground these men will have us all walking on.

Where is the outrage at what is happening to our world? Do not blame God for this, He gave us free will and this is what some are choosing to do with that gift. Who will help stop them? You? Me? I think we need more than the two of us. And I think people need to not shrug off horrors as things that happen to others “over there”, because as Jesus himself said, Matthew 25:40, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’ And THAT is God’s own truth. Note please, He did not suggest flogging, beheading, invading or toppling rulers of other lands as alternatives. He just said no. So do I. much love, :^) gene

The Celestine Prophecy

I am probably the last person in the world to have seen this movie, lol. Jenna led me to it this past week and I watched it, and I have to say I was mostly disappointed. Somehow from the hype, I expected more. I got a personal message out of it, from her, which I knew I would, she never takes me to anything in which there is nothing personal for me – and when we come to that moment, she always whispers within “this is why I brought you here, gene”. So that was there. But the rest of it, really, boiled down to but three things for me. Always the three, often the three in one, and so was this with the message she brought me there to see, but for here I want to mention just the three things she had me take note of, in general.

1. Look not from the mind, but from the soul. For the Life that is coming is already before us, waiting to open up the world. Just look more closely, find the eyes to SEE.

2. There is only only one truth – all religions are human made, human concepts. Spirit is the only truth and it is not, cannot be, enslaved. (This is why, partially, I have been so drawn to Sarah McLachlan over the past 8 or 9 months now, lol, her song Possession talks about the truth being enslaved) :^).

3. The Guidance within evolves the world toward a heaven that is already here, to know THIS is to know the truth.

These three ideas are found throughout Conversations With God, Books 1 and 2. We see with human eyes, we filter all we see through human ideas, when what we need be doing is seeing the truth of us, of what God says so often, Who We Really Are. Were we all to come to THAT truth, this world would be a very different place. And, I know, from what I have seen and what is in me, THAT is the place this special place is going. There are hints of this idea in many traditions, many “channelings”, many writings, most of those consider this imminent. I wish it were, but there is a good bit of “soul evolution” that needs to come first. We will get there, just not tomorrow. And there will be trials and tribulations and joys and awakenings along the way as we create this world into a place one could readily call “heaven on earth”. That is our “special” destiny. One can see from a quick look around just how far we have to go. But there will be teachers along the way, and one special one among those, who will demonstrate the truth of our Creator’s love in ways undeniable, that one, will be here more than once before this planet “ascends” into a realm that will protect it from the vagaries of the universe. Many of us here now, will be here then, to witness, BE this event. Until then, we continue doing what we do, always, one hopes with love in our hearts and a smile on our faces, and, good will toward all humanity, our planetary home and the life it teems with. There is much to do, but the good news is that we ARE doing it. Slowly but surely, we are becoming a civilization worthy of the One who gave us this opportunity. I’ll talk more about this in days to come too, for tonight, this is enough. much love, :^) gene

A Beautiful Heart

We’ve all seen, okay, heard of, the movie, starring Russell Crowe, A Beautiful Mind – I’m the one who hasn’t seen it, lol. But this special little girl and her beautiful heart comes from Steve Goodier and is worth sharing. So, for tonight, this is it. Just a quick note following:

Parents and grandparents are understandably proud of the quick minds
and impressive talents of their little ones. But let me tell you about
another quality, perhaps even more important, found in a little girl
named Skylar.

I received a letter from a grandmother who told me about her four-
year-old granddaughter Skylar. Ever since Skylar learned of Disneyland
from TV, she saved her nickels and dimes in a piggy bank in hopes of
visiting there someday. Her parents surprised her with a trip
when she was four, however, and didn’t even require her to use her own
money!

When Skylar returned it was Christmastime. She decided to buy presents
with her savings. But she also learned from announcements on TV about
a local homeless shelter called “The Road House.” She repeatedly asked
her mother what “homeless” meant and why those children needed coats
and warm clothes. She couldn’t seem to get the homeless off her mind.

Her mother took her to the store to buy presents. Instead of buying
for herself or her family, however, she decided to purchase a warm
coat, socks, gloves and crayons for a little girl in the shelter. She
also wanted to buy a doll (a “baby,” as she called it), but when she
discovered she didn’t have enough money, she left the doll behind.

When Skylar got home, she lined up her own much-loved “babies” and
chose one she thought another child could also love. The baby went
into a box with the other items she bought that day.

She could hardly wait for Christmas! Skylar was not thinking about
Santa Claus or the presents she would be getting. She was thinking
about going to the shelter and giving her carefully selected
gifts to a homeless child.

On Christmas Eve she and her family drove to the shelter where Skylar
presented her Christmas box to a grateful little girl. She was so
filled with joy at truly helping someone else, that her family has
decided to make the journey to the homeless shelter an annual
tradition.

“Perhaps it’s good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to have a beautiful heart,” says Nobel Laureate John Nash. Young Skylar has a beautiful heart. It is that one quality, above all else, that makes beautiful people.

– Steve Goodier

Now, wouldn’t it be a good thing if THIS were what we taught our children about this time of year? As the incessant bombardment of seasonal music (has ANYONE written a new Christmas song since 1950? I swear I have come to loathe the old standbys and cannot abide their incessant intrusion into my life for what seems like months but is, I suppose, just 6 weeks or so) does its worst to turn me into Scrooge, stories like this brighten my day, lighten my heart and let me remember that this season is, was, and always should be about love like Skylar’s. May your days be merry and bright and filled with much love, :^) gene

Immigrants and America of today

I’ve known this woman for years, we’ve been friends for more than 10 years actually. We get along fine although we come from completely different sides of the political spectrum. She operates a mail list group that is composed mostly of frothing, as you will see, conservatives, many of whom also claim to be Christians, most of those seem to have never read the book upon which Christianity is based. Maybe it reads differently in the original Greek. I’ve only read a variety of English translations. The trouble with what she uses to start these little discussions (and I admit that in the early years I participated but in the last 7 years or so, mostly just read her original note, then delete anything else that comes along unread, except from a couple of sources who I know to feel as I do – I’d seen enough of the others and their mode of argument, very “Karl Rove ish”, modern Republican repartee in other words, which I grew sick of years ago. So I rarely say anything, but occasionally do feel the urge to tweak the lions nose, giggle, and a couple days ago was one of those days. The problem with what she puts out is that she believes everything sent to her in emails and never does any fact checking, just forwards on whatever bile is being pushed out at the moment. I tried for several years to teach her how to use Snopes.com (THE Urban Legend fact palace), to no avail. So, as I said, normally, I just read her mail, and once in a while tell her what is wrong with it but almost never respond to the whole group, cuz, you know, who needs all that anyway, giggle. But this one was just SO bad, and SO wrong, I felt as if I needed to say something. He who is silent is deemed to consent. And I most certainly do not consent to this lunacy. So, what you will see here tonight is, her original email, my response to her group, two nice responses to me, then one from someone who has joined the group since I last posted to the list – several years and obviously thought he was talking to some liberal college kid, liberal, yes, the rest, not so much, so I’m going to print what he said, then my response to the group. And then I’m going to leave the topic – here AND there as it is, giggle.

So first, she began it with this email.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE ELECTED OFFICIALS? It’s like I said, there are wayyyyy to many people trying to TEAR DOWN America and all she stands for! THAT SHOULD BE AN ACT OF TREASON! Prosecutable with jail time!

AND…this is just ANOTHER good reason NOT to vote for ANY of the people who are on this LIST!!!
This is a whopper!!! Pass it to everyone, and on and on . . .

33 Senators Voted Against English as America ’s Official Language, June 6, 2007

On Wed, 6 Jun 2007, “an enraged conservative, USA Ret.” wrote:

Senators:

Your vote against an amendment to the Immigration Bill, 1348, to make English America’s official language is astounding. On D-Day, no less, when we honor those who sacrificed in order to secure the bedrock character and principles of America . I can only surmise your vote reflects a loyalty to illegal aliens.

I don’t much care where you come from, what your religion is, whether you’re black, white or some other color, male or female, Democrat, Republican or Independent, but I do care when you’re a United States Senator, representing citizens of America , and vote against English as the official language of the United States .

Your vote reflects betrayal, political surrender, violates your pledge of allegiance, dishonors historical principle, rejects patriotism, borders on traitorous action, and, in my opinion makes you unfit to serve as a United States Senator. Impeachment, recall, or other appropriate action is warranted.

Worse, four of you who voted against English as America ’s official language are presidential candidates: Senator Biden, Senator Clinton, Senator Dodd, and Senator Obama.

Four Senators vying to lead America but won’t or don’t have the courage to cast a vote in favor of English as America ’s official language, when 91% of American citizens want English officially designated as our language.

This is the second time in the last several months these Senators have disgraced themselves as political hacks — unworthy as Senators and certainly unqualified to serve as President of the United States .

If America is as angry as I am, you will realize a backlash so stunning it will literally rock you out of your socks- – -and preferably totally out of the United States Senate.

The entire immigration bill is a farce — your action only confirms that this really isn’t about America , it’s about self-serving politics — despicable at best.

The following senators voted against making English the official language of America:

Akaka (D-HI), Bayh (D-IN), Biden (D-DE) — Wants to be President, Bingaman (D-NM), Boxer (D-CA), Cantwell (D-WA), Clinton (D-NY) — Wants to be President,
Dayton (D-MN), Dodd (D-CT) — Wants to be President, Domenici (R-NM) — Coward, protecting his Senate seat…, Durbin (D-IL), Feingold (D-WI) — Not unusual for him
Feinstein (D-CA), Harkin (D-IA), Inouye (D-HI), Jeffords (I-VT), Kennedy (D-MA), Kerry (D-MA) — Wanted to be President, Kohl (D-WI), Lautenberg (D-NJ), Leahy (D-VT), Levin (D-MI), Lieberman (D-CT) — Disappointment here….., Menendez (D-NJ), Mikulski (D-MD), Murray (D-WA), Obama (D-IL) — Wants to be President, Reed (D-RI), Reid (D-NV) — Senate Majority Leader, Salazar (D-CO), Sarbanes (D-MD), Schumer (D-NY), Stabenow (D-MI).

Congressmen who willfully take actions during wartime that damage morale, and undermine the military are saboteurs and should be arrested, exiled or hanged.
—President Abraham Lincoln??

I responded with this email to the group:
Bonnie, you really need to do more research with these things. Snopes has this on it, as partially true, yes, the first amendment was voted down, the reasoning is below, to summarize, 47 million people in our country, legal immigrants do not have English as their first language – yet, the first version would have prevented the government from providing official forms in any language other than English, do you have ANY idea how much it would cost people, taxpayors, private citizens, governmental agencies and programs that have to work with those populations to do private translations of everything to be sure people understood what they were being asked for or asking for? A half hour AFTER the first bill was defeated, a second bill, making English the “unifying” language of the country, which is what it already is, was passed, that one allows present practice to continue – the first would have cost a fortune – to undo all that has been done over the past half century to ensure immigrants can fully participate in our country, the second preserves the ability of the federal government and states to continue making sure people know what they are asking for and getting. Taking half-truths and send them around the globe as if they were all truth, is lying by omission. Isn’t that against republican principles? If it isn’t, it should be… :^) gene

The Government of the United States shall preserve and enhance the role of English as the national language of the United States of America. Unless otherwise authorized or provided by law, no person has a right, entitlement, or claim to have the Government of the United States or any of its officials or representatives act, communicate, perform or provide services, or provide materials in any language other than English. If exceptions are made, that does not create a legal entitlement to additional services in that language or any language other than English. If any forms are issued by the Federal Government in a language other than English (or such forms are completed in a language other than English), the English language version of the form is the sole authority for all legal purposes. In other words, this amendment declared that the federal government had no obligation to provide documents or services in any language other than English; that if the federal government did choose to provide some documents or services in any language other than English, they were not obligated to continue doing so.

The issue became even more complicated when, half an hour after amendment 4064 was passed, the Senate voted on amendment. This amendment sought to “Declare that English is the common and unifying language of the United States, and to preserve and enhance the role of the English language.” The relevant section of the amendment (as passed) read as follows:
The Government of the United States shall preserve and enhance the role of English as the common and unifying language of America. Nothing herein shall diminish or expand any existing rights under the law of the United States relative to services or materials provided by the Government of the United States in any language other than English.

For the purposes of this section, law is defined as including provisions of the United States Code and the United States Constitution, controlling judicial decisions, regulations, and controlling Presidential Executive Orders. In other words, this amendment contradicted the previously passed amendment by declaring that English was to be regarded as “the common and unifying language of America” (rather than the “national language of the United States of America”), and that whatever obligations the federal government had to provide or honor documents and services in languages other than English should remain unchanged. This amendment also passed, by a 58-39 (No Democrats voted against this amendment, although 14 Republicans and one Independent voted in favor of it.) Altogether, 22 senators voted in favor of both amendments, making it difficult to determine exactly where they stood on the “official language” question.

According to the 2000 United States 18% of theU.S. population aged 5 or older, (47 million people) speaks a language other than English at home. That figure has been growing rapidly in recent decades, up from 11% (23.1 million people) in 1980 and 14% (31.8 million people) in 1990. How to deal with the national language issue in a country where one language predominates but more and more people are speaking other languages is something Congress apparently hasn’t yet decided.

I got this well thought out mail in response:

Thnx, Gene, 4 saving me some time. You wrote pretty much what I was about to, after reading what’s been fwded. Realizing that this is one of those issues that will continue to be debated as to what the Founding Fathers intended and what they may or may not have anticipated for future generations, I’d like to add that, even without the economic considerations, the spirit of the Constitution would not call for any “official language.” Opening our country’s doors to immigrants who were/are willing to compete for the “American Dream” has always been a part of this spirit, which has always been recognized around the world and has been memorialized many times (e.g. Statue of Liberty.)

Early in our history (i.e. 1820s) as seen in the Monroe Doctrine and in the concept of Manifest Destiny, it was a widely held belief that the territories in “The West” were rightfully on U.S. soil, but just hadn’t been settled and incorporated, yet. It was our policy that colonization by other countries was to be curtailed and, for the most part, we proceeded to settle in, purchase and annex these lands. Since these lands were considered rightfully ours (eventually with reasonable compensation), it would be very presumptuous to assume that the national language, if there were to be one, would be English.

Also, balancing federal and state powers, it would’ve been (would be) debatable whether determining a single official language should be a federal decision or one to be made by each state. Obviously, some of the territories (and eventual states) would’ve, most likely, selected other languages (e.g. Spanish, French, Russian.)

Putting all that aside, today we speak English as our primary language. Now, when you read my last sentence, did you read “we” as “residents of the U.S,” or, perhaps “U.S. citizens?” What I actually also meant was “we” as “worldwide residents that partake in the global economy.” Sure, each of you resides within a family, on a block, within a community, in a village/town/city, a state/province/territory, a country, but you are also a global resident. Not all of us prioritize our allegiances the same. Some of us put family, community and even state ahead of country. Many of us put our global community ahead of country. This is all within the context of not bringing our country down, but actually, strengthening it. And so it should be in a “free” society.

English has become, at least for now (since it might be Mandarin in the not too distant future,) the global “primary” language. That is far different from it being the “official” language. To effectively compete, in millions of cases, it is in one’s best interest to improve one’s skills in communicating using English. As evidenced by the thousands of English schools worldwide, the demand is obviously there, but this is also true here, as evidenced by the thousands of ESL schools in the U.S.

So, if learning English is so valuable, then why are so many of you troubled by the vast numbers in this country who seem averse to learning English? The answer to that is actually in the question and, specifically, in the word, “valuable.” Non/Limited English speaking children learn English in public(ly funded) schools. Adults, generally, have to pay. For many, this cost is prohibitive. Assuming that you speak another language (one of the many reasons the U.S. is growing weaker year by year is that Americans are relatively uneducated in speaking/writing at least in one other language,) try asking a non/Limited English speaking adult if they would accept a grant that would pay for this education.

After you’ve received enough positive responses to your query, you might want to consider supporting programs that offer this kind of assistance, instead of trying to undermine at least one tenet of our heritage.

Then, this one:
BRAVO!!! Funny how these things get twisted isn’t it?

Then, the lion woke:
Whomever wrote the first part of this E-Mail should be hung for treason. If you don’t like America, go to another Country.  When I went to Rome in 1974, I bought a book that helped me to communicate in Italian. I certainly was not offended by that necessity. I figured if I wanted to go to ROME, I better do as the ROMANS DO. It seems the person who wrote this item believes that if someone decides to come to America, American’s better do as they do. This is one of the most treasonous pieces of CRAP I have ever seen written. It is just another person who hates America, and will do their level best to tear it, and it’s principles down. I would venture to guess that this person also despises the Christian beginnings of the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.  I’ll bet the writer of this document Hates to hear those words. An American Who Believes in AMERICA.

And, then, my response as an American who believes in America to my counterpart – though I am not sure we are talking about the same country giggle.

I would imagine you must mean me.   Since I wrote the first piece in which I fleshed out Bonnie’s original half-story. Let’s see now, 1974 Rome, huh? Okay, I was there, Italy,  in 1969, most of that year, at a place called Camp Darby, a port through which most US military goods came by ship and then were flown throughout Europe. I left that beautiful little place on the Italian Riviera in September of 1969 when I volunteered for a tour of duty in sunny Viet Nam, from which duty I completed my enlistment and was honorably discharged 10/25/70 – I started college on the GI bill in January 1971 and was in my second senior year of college, thanks to Gerald Ford, in the summer my first son was born, 1974, while you were in Rome. Where, by the way, I also bought a book from which I learned the fundamentals of the Italian language, all the better to enjoy life on Friday evenings in Livorno where by buying a drink for the house, an American GI would make 30 friends instantly and not have to buy a thing the rest of the night. Which was good because I made $137 a month back then, 660 lira to the dollar.

In other words, you are not talking to some wet-behind-the-ears child. And if that is the tone you take with those you meet, I can imagine you are welcome wherever you rest your sorry carcass.

I did not suggest that immigrants not learn English, only that the choice made by the Senate, that Bonnie only printed half of, was correct in the second effort. It is easier and cheaper to print forms in multiple languages than only in one – if there is only one, it is a little hard for a newcomer to get around. You must have found that yourself in Italy. Even then, there signage was in both English and Italian. I know as I traveled alone from Venice clear across the country to Livorno by train, by myself, and before I had purchased an english to italian dictionary as I had no money whatsoever at the time, being in transit, partial pays were not allowed, and I left my leave stateside flat broke.  I was helped at every station, and in Italy those stations have 8 to 10 tracks going every which way, find my way to the right place, by Italians who didn’t cuss me out for not knowing their language but took the time to appreciate my difficulty in moving about their country not knowing their language.  They didn’t hate me.  They HELPED me.  Which is what the second vote, the second vote, the part that was left out of the first email was about.  Helping others.  You know, that is actually supposed to be a hallmark of American culture – or once it was.

There is no point in making things hard for others simply because we can. There is reason in making things as accessible as possible even if only for the tourist trade from Europe. Treason? Please. Treason is desertion in the face of duty. I never did any such thing. I only suggested that we who are so blessed as to have been born in this free country, be a bit more open with our minds and our hearts. As were those here one hundred years ago when my own forebears immigrated from Sweden. Most of THAT first generation didn’t learn much English either, it is the second generation that does that, the third that graduates high school, and the fourth that begins to go on to college. This isn’t rocket science, it is the history of our nation. To expect immigrants NOW to suddenly be fluent in English, one of the hardest languages of all to learn, is not only silly it is mean-spirited. But then it is easy to tell from your tone, that is exactly what you are. You don’t speak for all Americans and you certainly don’t speak for all veterans. Open your heart, let the love in, and show others a little grace and understanding – your blood pressure, and your God, will both thank you for it. :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

A teddy bear causes rage

Yes, a teddy bear. The story below was written about Muslim fundamentalists, please read it. I’ll be back immediately following.

Teddy Bear

By LEONARD PITTS JR.Just to make sure I’ve got this straight: Their God is threatened by a teddy bear?As in a plush, cuddly doll in the shape of a bear? As in the glass-eyed figure children sleep with for security? We’re talking teddy bears as in teddy bears? A teddy bear has offended their God?Lord, have mercy.

You’re familiar with the story that has me venting, right? If not, strap in. This one will have you reaching for your blood-pressure pills.

It seems that last week in Sudan, Gillian Gibbons, a 54-year-old British teacher, was arrested. Her offense: She brought the aforementioned teddy bear in and asked her class of 7-year-olds to give it a name.

The kids considered Abdullah and Hassan but finally settled, overwhelmingly, upon Muhammad. Muhammad is one of the most common names in that part of the world, so it was not unlike if American kids named a bear “Joe.”

Unfortunately, Muhammad is also the name of the man Muslims revere as a prophet of God. So when some parents heard about the bear, they called authorities. Next thing you know, Gibbons was hauled in. The charge: insulting Islam. The potential penalty: six months and 40 lashes.

Swift `justice’

Justice, if that’s what you want to call it, apparently moves fast in Sudan. Gibbons was arrested on a Sunday. She was indicted that Wednesday, convicted that Thursday and sentenced to 15 days. That Friday, hundreds of Sudanese took to the streets in protest — not, as you would hope, over the stupidity of the entire affair but, rather, at what they saw as the leniency of the sentence. See, they wanted the death penalty.

If it makes you feel any better: According to a published report, many of the protesters were government workers who had been ordered to take part in the demonstration. Anyway, on Monday of this week, the president of Crazyland — excuse me, Sudan — pardoned Gibbons, and she flew home.

Throughout her ordeal, she has maintained that she respects Islam and has asked that people not think ill of the faith because of this. Which is exactly right. Islam is not the problem. Fundamentalism, however, is. And that, as we should know from our own experience, is a mindset that is not confined to one faith.

To the contrary, every faith has them, these rigid doctrinaires who would sacrifice their very humanity for the fool’s gold of theological purity, these people so eager to live the literal law of their holy books that they miss the point of those holy books, shedding compassion, kindness and plain common sense along the way.

Quick to condemn

Worse, they are always literal about the wrong things, always literal about passages in holy writ that they feel empower them to punish, judge, ostracize and condemn. Never literal about the passages that require them to give, forgive, serve and stand humble.

As I said, it’s a failing common to fundamentalists, but that failing has seldom been more galling than here. We are, after all, talking about Sudan, a nation that was embroiled in civil war almost constantly from the time it gained independence in 1956 until a peace treaty was signed in 2005. More than two million people died in that war, more than four million were displaced.

And then there is Darfur, the western region where four years of government-backed genocide has left an estimated 200,000 people dead. Some might say they are the lucky ones. Luckier than the man whose eyes were gouged out with a bayonet. Luckier than the people burned alive inside their huts. Luckier than the women raped so brutally they can no longer walk, so brutally that urine trickles constantly down their legs.

What a pious, holy nation. Their God is offended by a teddy bear.

If anything, God is offended by them.

Now, Mr. Pitts’ story is astonishing enough. But it is not uncommon in this enlightened age in which we live. No religion, it seems, has a God of love; they are all angry and talking only to those among us who are as angry. The greatest threat to Planet Earth is extremism, fundamentalism, in the name of whatever God, religion or cause suits whatever group is angriest today.  Because such people first demonize their opponents before ever, if ever, laying out a reasoned argument for their own position. It is not enough to HAVE an opinion, one must first denigrate, in whatever way possible, the opposition. That is how one achieves the high moral ground in the 21st century. Does it matter whom is to blame for this sordid form of non-Socratic discourse? Isn’t it more important, perhaps, to point out the ludicrous nature, as Mr. Pitts has so ably done here, of taking ANY idea, be it political, economic or religious to such extremes?

I wonder, I think God wonders, when we are ever going to “get” the idea that the only place with enough room for all of us to stand shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm, is on the common ground. It is THAT we must find. While, as He has pointed, refusing to cede to brutes who wish to practice their brutality on all of us, all the time, even those of armed only with teddy bears. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Amazing Grace – an unfinished work

Again I quote from this “amazing” film:

“When people speak of great men, they think of men like Napoleon, men of violence. They rarely think of peaceful men. But contrast the reception they will receive when they return home from their battles.

Napoleon will arrive in pomp and in power, as a man who has achieved the summit of earthly ambition, yet his dreams will be haunted by the oppressions of war.

William Wilberforce, however, will return to his family, lay his head upon his pillow and remember that the slave trade is no more.”

Amazing Grace

This is an amazing movie and I commend it to you. I urge you look around the website. I urge you understand the conditions against which the abolitionists in England fought to end this terrible trade in human lives. And I urge that you remember in this the 200th anniversary of the passage of abolition in England, that the slave trade has not yet ended.

According to the New York Times, ” Upwards of 18,000 foreign nationals are believed to be trafficked into the U.S. each year. According to the State Department, 80 percent of trafficked people are women and children, an overwhelming majority of whom are trafficked for sexual purposes.

Those who think that most of the women in prostitution want to be there are deluded. Surveys consistently show that a majority wants very much to leave. Apologists love to spread the fantasy of the happy hooker. But the world of the prostitute is typically filled with pimps, sadists, psychopaths, drug addicts, violent criminals and disease.”

And if this is so, in this the freest of all lands, what then must it be like for these poor little ones in places where their lives are not so valued? This is a fight that has not ended. Yet must. It MUST. This is one more dirty little secret upon which the light of love must be brought. It is time the entire population of our world lives free. The time is upon us and the time is now. Please keep this issue in mind as we enter the 2008 campaign season. American freedom is not, cannot be, just for Americans. Love demands freedom be equally shared. Please support candidates and parties which make ending this horrific business part of their platform. And insist YOUR local candidates do so. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Amazing Grace

A couple quotes from the early part of this amazing film:

“You found God, sir?”

“I think He found me. Do you have any idea how inconvenient that is?”

“It is a sad fate to be well known to everybody else and still unknown to himself.” Sir Francis Bacon

gene suggests a visit to Ansir.com to remedy this most unfortunate circumstance. And a viewing of this most extraordinary movie for a shining example of what one person with great personal commitment may accomplish. It is an inspiration I needed this weekend. I had no idea why jenna brought me to this particular movie at this particular time, but she is never wrong, and if I have understood her message correctly, there will be more to say on this topic in relatively short order.

Slavery is an odious practice which still befouls the air and blights this beautiful blue planet of life. And it is time, past time, that it stop. Permanently and forever. This movie moves us along that path. It has been a reflective weekend and it is fitting that it end with this marvelous testament to the power of truth and love when mixed together with passion and commitment. much love, :^) gene

Amazing Grace – The Movie

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me….
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T’was Grace that taught…
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear…
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares…
we have already come.
T’was Grace that brought us safe thus far…
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me…
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be…
as long as life endures.

When we’ve been here ten thousand years…
bright shining as the sun.
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise…
then when we’ve first begun.

“Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me….
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene