So, let’s talk a bit about politics.

You’re right, this isn’t normally a political blog, nor is it my intent to turn it into one now. But it is not possible to be alive in this world now and be unaware of the connections between our spiritual and political lives. I suppose one might also need economic lives at this point given the current state of the American and world economic conditions.

It seems that many in America are deeply influenced in their political lives by their particular spiritual traditions. We have in our constitution protections for spiritual liberty, the idea being that each of us should be allowed to practice whatever faith tradition, including none, we have without interference from our government. That is a far cry from, for instance, Islamic countries, where Sharia, or Islamic Law, IS the government and none other is tolerated. There are gradations, of course, but ours is a secular society and was designed to be so by those who wrote and established our constitutional form of government.

So where am I going with this? Well, let me tell you. Various groups in this country, including the Republican and Democratic parties, claim to have kidnapped Jesus and have exclusive knowledge of His will for us. And they will use His words, or His Father’s, selectively to “prove” their point. There are those who would have us believe that were He here now, He’d be driving a big old truck with a gun rack and watching Nascar. There are those who would have us believe He’d be marching in the streets with those demanding things like universal health care and secure retirements for all citizens. Truth be told, my own inclination, and my Jenna, have me squarely in the second camp.
But, and this is a huge caveat, since He is NOT here among us physically, NONE of us has the right to speak for him, nor tell others what to do on His behalf. If you wish a certain outcome, be man, or woman, enough to say so on your own without trying to sway your listeners by also claiming to have His backing. Because you don’t. When He wishes to make known what He wants, other than what he is quoted as saying, sometimes in documents written more than a hundred years after He returned to where we all come from, He will. Until then, use the persuasive power of your own intellect to move others toward the reason of your position, not invoke someone who is not actually running in this, or any other, election.

That said, I want to comment a bit on the current presidential campaign. I am not an “undecided” voter, by the way, I will vote for Obama on November 3rd without doubt unless evidence comes to light between now and then that convinces me he is a serial killer or something. There are several reasons for my certainty that he is the candidate I want elected.

First, 8 years ago we had a budget surplus and a 5 trillion dollar national debt AND a plan to have it reduced to virtually nothing by now. Now we have a half trillion budget deficit annually and a 10 trillion dollar national debt. That tells me that something we did in the last 8 years did NOT work. And that something is the SAME thing John McCain proposes to continue doing. He has taken to blaming Congressional Democrats for our difficulties, but it must be noted that the Republican party controlled both Houses of Congress from 1994 to 2006. He is part of that history. One of my favorite movies is the Coen brothers, Oh Brother Where Art Thou, for a lot of reasons, beautiful, varied music, wonderful writing, superlative acting and a fun story line. One of the things I remember from that movie was the incumbent governor’s campaign staff suggesting he run as a reform candidate. He reacted by throwing his hat at him and saying, you can’t run as a reform candidate when you are the incumbent. Someone should suggest John McCain see that movie. He can’t run as a reformist, he IS the incumbent in this election or his party is. THEY got us to where we are today.

Second, Sarah Palin. I simply cannot accept the idea of that woman being a heartbeat from the presidency. She may be a qualified governor, but I don’t think she’s been in office long enough to even know that much about her. What I do know is that she has no experience in any area of national government and what I know of her views I completely disagree with. I understand John met her twice before naming her to his ticket. Can you imagine what THAT says to the rest of his party? I have looked high and low throughout the land and the next best Republican, to me, of course, qualified to be president, is NOT one of you in the lower 48 with substantial governmental experience but rather this woman I met in Alaska who likes shooting wolves from airplanes. Sorry. I don’t buy that argument and frankly do not understand how the rest of the Republican party has either.

Third, after 911 we had the largest outpouring of support for our country we have ever had, the largest amount of good will aimed at us, felt for us, and we have squandered it completely with our arrogant and unilateral approach to global affairs. I believe Obama will be a bridge-builder, not a bridge destroyer and I believe THAT is what our country, this planet, needs right now in an American president. No one can deny the influence our economy has on the rest of the world as markets in other countries fell just as ours did earlier this week. Some countries are so aware of this effect that they feel they ought have a way to vote in our presidential elections because what happens here affects the world so much. I’m not sure I’d go that far. Today. But it is undeniable that we have become one world, if not yet one people, and that what happens in one sector of the world DOES affect what happens in others. That is as true economically as it is ecologically and meteorology. We humans inhabit this world, we don’t own it. We just think we do. It was here before us and will be when we are gone, however that comes about and there are a number of scenarios to that as well. We need a president who can reach out to other countries and be accepted as a man of peace and honor. I believe the fresh approach of Barack Obama will be better received around the world than the continuation of the failed Bush policies that McCain intends to push forward with.

Fourth, no one wants to talk about race, but it is a factor in this election. It is TIME this country had a president of color and it is time we have a female president too. That will come. It WILL come. Obama’s election will do more to raise the hopes of our citizens of color than anything that has come before it. Suddenly young men and women of color will have a role model who is not an athlete but a world leader. He will give them hope, something so many in our inner cities lack completely. The hope of a tomorrow that is not what today is. Generations of Americans of color have been raised to believe that what they have is all they can ever have, that every business, every institution, including our political institutions, had “glass” ceilings beyond which they could not go. Obama’s election will demonstrate to them, the disenfranchised, that in all truth, anyone can become President of the United States. I think that will do more for the hopes of young Americans of color than any number of professional athletes ever have. I think it will help them believe that they too can do anything with education and hard work. He will be good for America in so many ways, I find it virtually impossible to believe he won’t be our next President. And if my vote counts, he will be. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

People, Ideas and evolution.

Wow! I bet you are wondering where the H this is going, huh? :^) So do I. As I’ve mentioned, my own personal life has been in turmoil and change for the past couple months as my son has moved back home. After living alone for almost 12 years it takes a good bit of time to get used to having another person in the house. Particularly one who does not share your own perspective on things. He and I agree on most things on a global/political scale, but when we move from macro to the micro, well, that just isn’t the case. I’m not a neat freak, a look around my place would soon prove that, but he has absolutely no sense of neatness whatsoever. He has problems and issues, lots and lots of them. I won’t violate his privacy by going into any of that here. But I gotta tell you it drives me nuts being his maid. He never picks up, rinses off or puts anything away. Putting an item in the sink, to me, does not mean you are through with it, it needs be rinsed and put in the dishwasher. He doesn’t get that part. Floor are not closets which doesn’t seem to be the way he thinks either. It isn’t that we haven’t talked about these things, in fact, I’m pretty sure, he thinks they are all I talk about. I’d quit talking about them, if he’d begin doing them. He doesn’t make that connection either. There are a lot of compromises that need be made in living with another human being. Just how many I’d forgotten after so many years of it being just Cisco and I. We’ll get through it, but it is not easy.

Which explains my absence here. Well that and another knee surgery in mid-September. I had a torn meniscus in my right knee three years ago and had that arthroscopically repaired. That one was a piece of cake, I was okay from day one, could take care of myself and Cisco, recovery was swift and easy. This one was not like that one. That tear was on the inside of my knee, this one was at the back of the meniscus and it was very hard to find so the surgeon was in there twice as long as the first time. When I woke, the nurse really encouraged me to take crutches. I thought, piffle, I didn’t need them before why would I now? Still she insisted, so I took them. Good thing too, because for that first week I could do nothing but take pain meds and lie on the couch with my leg in the air and an ice bag on it. The extra time in surgery and having to trim away a lot tissue and poke and prod just to find the tear caused a lot more swelling and pain than the first surgery did. It’s been a month now and I am still quite sore. The week I took off last time for recovery, this time turned into two full weeks and a third of half days. I suppose it doesn’t help that I keep crashing into things either, lol. The day before I was to come back to work, expecting full time, I took a tumble down the stairs. I thought I could come down normally but as my left leg took my full body weight it buckled and down I went. Nice thick carpet though. Still, my knee blew up on me and that familiar fire under the patella - which had just disappeard on the Friday before came back. I saw the surgeon the next day and he said no damage he thought, I just “stirred” things up in there a bit. And my right knee looked worse than the left from the rug burns, lol.
So recuperation is still ongoing. And the time I used for writing here is not all mine anymore. When I was living alone it didn’t matter what time I ate, or if even, but with two of us we need more regularity than that. Hard getting used to. Jenna says not for long will it be like this. Gene says good and thanks. I love my son with all my heart but living with him ended 15 years ago and at some point I will need my life back because there are things I have to do, want to do, that Jen and I have been talking about for years. And I WILL, if ever I am able. She says I will be and I say good. But still in this moment, this is what is.

What brought about the topic idea in the subject line was a discussion I had with my son about inconsistency. He thinks I am inconsistent in my approach to life. He is sure that is whim, when I want one thing, I am okay with it, at other times I am not. I am supposed to be on a restricted fat/cholesterol diet, but it is his observation that only sometimes do I follow that, for instance. At first, I thought, no, I AM consistent, just in my own way. Later though as I thought about it, I could see his point more clearly. But what he was seeing as inconsistencies were actually “exceptions” I made when with him. He assumed that was how I ate all the time, when in truth it was not, but I do see how he’d get that impression. The same holds true for other things. There are things I may do on an individual basis that I do not believe would be good for the population at large. For instance, I think that compassion, forgiveness, love for all of life are critical components of a true civilization, but am I those things at all times at a personal level. No. I’m not a perfect person. I am a work in process, in the midst of my own evolution. A process I think will continue until my last day. I would like very much for my largest ideas to fit perfectly into and be mirrored precisely in my private life as well. But they are not. Yet. That is a goal, an objective, not a truth. It is my desire that I grow closer to that larger truth by the day, yet I can see from without, that others may see things I do not, or interpret things I do as not consistent with my avowed truths. So that is where evolution comes in. We are each a work in progress, we evolve each day, some of us perhaps devolve on some days, in fact I am quite sure of THAT too. But even baby steps ARE steps. And as long as there more of them taken forward than backward, I find that to be progress. A setback, of whatever nature, does not eliminate all that went before and does not mean one starts all over again. It is like falling down the stairs in a way. You land and lie there a moment checking to see what works and what doesn’t, then you pick yourself up and continue on. Life is just like that. Don’t you think? much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Moments to Remember

Steve Goodier has a nice piece in his newsletter this week.  He’s talking about the way we remember things.  We don’t remember whole days or weeks or years, we remember moments in time.  At least, I do.  Fleeting moments, that never really leave, that are evoked from time to time through a memory trigger of one sort or another.  So look over his words, I’ve a few of my own, and a song, following.  :^) gene

MOMENTS TO REMEMBER
Have you ever noticed that you do not remember days, you remember moments?

A strange story about immortalizing moments comes from the book SPIRITUAL LITERACY (Touchstone Books) by authors Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat. It is about a Brooklyn cigar store manager named Oggie Rand. Oggie has an unusual habit — at precisely eight o’clock each morning, he photographs the front of the store. Always at exactly the same time and from exactly the same spot. Every morning. Oggie collects his daily snapshots in photograph albums, each labeled by date. He calls his project his “life’s work.”

One day Oggie showed his albums to a friend. He had not told his friend about his unusual hobby. Flipping the pages of the albums, the man noticed in amazement that the pictures were all the same.
Oggie watched him skim through the pictures and finally replied, “You’ll never get it if you don’t slow down, my friend. The pictures are all of the same spot, but each one is different from every other one. The differences are in the detail. In the way people’s clothes change according to season and weather. In the way the light hits the street. Some days the corner is almost empty. Other times it is filled with people, bikes, cars and trucks. It’s just one little part of the world, but things take place there, too,
just like everywhere else.”

This time Oggie’s friend looked more carefully at each picture. No two were alike. Every picture was unique, just as every moment is unique. Through a series of photographs, he became conscious of one of life’s great truths — that each minute that passes is special, even sacred.

I’m reminded of something writer Henry Miller said, “The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself.”  And those are the moments we’ll remember; the ones for which we stopped everything else long enough to pay close attention.

The advice for me is this: to pay as close attention to each moment as I can, as if I were carefully observing a series of snapshots. I would like to take time to study the moments. If I look closely enough, I know I’ll see that each is unique. Each is sacred. And each holds a special place in time.  I suspect it will be these moments — not whole days, weeks, months or years — that I will finally remember. And much of the happiness and joy I will find in life will be because I took care of the moments.

– Steve Goodier

What I take from Steve’s story reminded me of John Lennon’s song, In My Life,

<a href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8nz5clDx4g” target=”blank”>In My Life</a>

There are places I’ll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life, I’ve loved them all
But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I’ll love you more
Though I know I’ll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I’ll often stop and think about them
In my life, I’ll love you more

And this I know to be true, in my life, I’ll love you more, each and every moment.  :^) gene
<p style=”color: navy; font-weight: normal”>If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

A Law of Successful Living

I’m not so sure I’d call this a law, it is more a recipe, I think.  I am not a believer in Karma, but I am a believer in doing unto others what we would have done unto us.

A LAW OF SUCCESSFUL LIVING

I am impressed by an incident that happened during Ignacy Paderewski’s (November 18, 1860 - June 29, 1941) career. The famous Polish pianist agreed to play a concert organized by two Stanford University students working their way through school. Paderewski’s manager said they would have to guarantee the artist a fee of $2,000. The boys agreed and eventually the concert was held.

Though the two student promoters worked hard, they took in only $1,600. Discouraged, they told Paderewski of their efforts and handed him the $1,600 with a note promising to pay him the balance of $400. But the artist tore up the note and gave them back the $1,600. “Take your expenses out of this,” he said, “give yourselves each 10% of what’s left for your work, and let me have the rest.”

Years later, Paderewski was faced with feeding the people of his war-ravaged Poland. Amazingly, even before a request was made, thousands of tons of food were sent to Poland by the United States.

Paderewski later traveled to Paris to thank Herbert Hoover, who headed up the US relief effort. “That’s all right, Mr. Paderewski,” said Hoover, “I knew that the need was great. And besides, though you
may not remember it, I was one of two college students whom you generously helped when I was in need.”

The story illustrates a law of successful living: sooner or later we will reap what we sow. Paderewski reaped a harvest of kindness he had sown years before. Those who sow love will eventually reap love.
Those who sow goodness will reap even more. Those who sow fear and mistrust will reap an unwanted harvest later.

It’s a basic law of successful living. And powerful enough to change a life.

– Steve Goodier

And, in my mind, this is how we should all be all the time, remembering those who have loved and helped us and passing that forward with each day.  :^) gene

<p style=”color: blue; font-weight: normal”> If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene</p>

Preparing for Tomorrow

This from Steve is a piece I can identify with and can endorse wholeheartedly.  What else is tomorrow for?

GETTING READY FOR TOMORROW

You heard about the sign posted on a rancher’s fence? On the other side of the fence resides the biggest, meanest looking bull you can imagine. The sign is intended to strike fear into the hearts of
would-be trespassers. It reads: “Don’t attempt to cross this field unless you can do it in 9.9 seconds. The bull can do it in 10 flat!”

Don’t try to cross that field unless you are prepared! And isn’t that the way it is in life? We have to be ready when the opportunity arises or else we will have little chance of success.

Sixth-grade schoolteacher Ms. Shelton believed in readiness. Students remember how she walked in on the first day of class and began writing words of an eighth-grade caliber on the chalkboard. They quickly
protested that the words were not on their level and they couldn’t learn them.

Their teacher insisted that the students could and would learn these words. She said that she would never teach down to them. Ms. Shelton ended by saying that one of the students in that classroom could go on to greatness, maybe even be president some day, and she wanted to prepare them for that day.

Ms. Shelton spoke those words many years ago. Little did she know that someday one of her students - Jesse Jackson - would take them seriously (”Leadership, ” Summer 1992). She believed that if they were
well prepared, they could achieve high goals.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “People only see what they are prepared to see.” If that’s true, then it is also true that they only become what they are prepared to become. And a lot of life is just about
getting ready.

“I want to be doing something more significant with my life than what I am doing now,” a young man once said to me. He felt like what he was doing was just not that important. Other people have said things to me such as, “I only wish I had a meaningful relationship. ” And, “I’d really like to get a better job, but I just don’t see how.”

You fill in the blanks. What is it you would like to happen that isn’t happening? Perhaps the answer is that you are not yet ready. Maybe you need more time to prepare before you are truly ready for that which you desire.

Think of today as another chance to prepare yourself for that exciting future you are looking for. Today is not wasted. If you desire more from life, then you can use today as training. For you will experience only what you are prepared to experience. Something wonderful can happen. And you can use today to get ready for tomorrow.

– Steve Goodier

Today is a day that will never come again.  If time is on a line, each second is a dot on that line, each one unique, each one precious and each one here for that moment and that moment alone, never to be seen again.  When you think of your time and your preparation and your life, if you think of it in those terms, you will often find yourselves wondering if what you are doing in any given moment is what you really want to be doing.  Need to be doing?  No such thing.  Want to be doing is the ONLY reason for doing anything.  Do you want to?  :^) gene

<p style=”color: blue; font-weight: normal”> If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene</p>

If Life Were Not So Bitter

I’ve barely written at all this month, I know. And it isn’t because I’ve been reading, I’ve not been doing that either. It is that life itself has intervened. Many things, many of those momentous, have gone on this month, I’ll not be airing dirty laundry, or laundry of any kind, here, but I do want to let you all know I am still here. And I don’t like this story. I’ll tell you why at its end.

IF LIFE WERE NOT SO BITTER…

File this story under the heading: “If life were not so bitter, revenge would not be sweet.”

After seventeen years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for a younger woman. The downtown luxury apartment was in his name and he wanted to remain there with his new love, so he asked his wife to move out and said he would buy her another place. The wife agreed to this, but asked that she be given three days.

The first day she packed her personal belongings into boxes and crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their candlelit dining table, soft music playing in the background, and feasted alone on shrimp and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each room and deposited shrimp leftovers into the hollow of her curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

Her husband returned with his new girl, and all was bliss for the first few days. Then it started; slowly but surely. Clueless, the man could not explain why the place smelled as it did.

They tried everything. First they cleaned and mopped and aired the place out. That didn’t work. Then they checked vents for dead rodents. Still no luck. They steam cleaned the carpets and hung air fresheners. That didn’t solve the problem. They hired exterminators; still no good. They ripped out the carpets and replaced them. But the smell lingered.

Finally, they could take it no more and decided to move. The moving company packed everything and moved it all to their new place. Everything. Even the curtain rods.

I like the story because of the humor. But revenge is always a poor option if we want to be healthy and happy.

The problem is… we can’t carry a grudge and carry love in our hearts at the same time. We have to give one of them up. It’s a choice we make.

Some resentments are large; they’ve built up over a long time and will not be easy to part with. Some have been fed by years of pain and anger. But all the more reason to give them up.

When we’re tired of the anger and resentment and bitterness, we can choose a better way. We can be forever unhappy, or we can be healthy. We’re just not made to carry a big grudge and a heart filled with
love at the same time.

But I still chuckle at the story.

– Steve Goodier

Now then, the reason I don’t like this story is not its ultimate point, but its mean-spiritedness. Was the scorned wife right to be upset at how she had been treated? Of course. But did what she did make her the victor somehow? Did what she did make the world itself a better place by adding to it a bit of light? Or did we all become just a little darker at our core? I don’t chuckle at the story. I regret it. I regret that for far too many of us, getting even is more important than being right, regardless at whose expense that sense of victory comes. We should all be better than that. Perhaps one day we will be.

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

The Way We See it and Getting it Right

Two wonderful little essays, with a touch of my own thoughts on them. :^)

THE WAY WE SEE IT

The eye doctor instructed her patient to read a chart on the wall. He looked at it and read, “A, B, F, N, L and G.”

The doctor turned the light back on and wrote in her notebook.

“How’d I do, Doc?” the patient wondered.

She replied, “Let’s put it this way — they’re numbers.”

“But Doc,” he argued, “this is the way I see it!”

Much of my happiness or unhappiness is a result of my perception. “This is the way I see it,” I tell myself.

I see some problems as challenges that energize me to action and others as obstacles that stop further progress. It’s just the way I see it.

And sometimes I see new situations as fun, and other times I see them as fearful.

The busyness of my life can be OK if I see it that way, or it can be a major source of stress. And an unexpected intrusion in my schedule can be an irritant or, if I see it that way, possibly the most
important thing I could do that day.

Even an embarrassing mistake can be the beginning of a new learning or an occasion to berate myself. It’s in the way I see it.

One of the greatest blocks to my happiness is forgetting that it is not always about what is happening to me — it’s more about the way I see it.

Like Marcel Proust said, “The real voyage of discovery lies not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” It’s in the way we see it.

– Steve Goodier

It is, you know. Really. Life is as much perception as it is reality. Those who say we are what we think we are, are not far off, for even if we are not something when we begin thinking we are, we may well create that very thing, for good or ill, if it becomes our focus and we come to believe it so. So maybe the lesson here is be careful what you wish for, giggle, or be certain when you do. much love, :^) gene

GETTING IT RIGHT

A young boy was sitting in the back seat of the car eating an apple. He poked his father in the front seat and asked, “Daddy, why does my apple turn brown?” His father answered, “When the skin is removed from the apple, air reaches the flesh of the apple and causes oxidation. This changes the apple’s molecular structure and results in a brownish color.

After a long pause, a small voice from the back seat asked, “Daddy, are you talking to me?”

I know how that boy feels. Sometimes I want answers to some of those confusing problems we all run up against. I want someone to explain how to get through difficult times or tell me what to do in a tough situation. I just want to get it right.

But I think I identify a bit more with the father whose daughter asked him if he would help her with some homework.

“I’m sorry,” he replied. “It wouldn’t be right.”

“Well,” she said, “at least you could try.”

Problem is, I don’t always have the answers I need. And nobody else seems too, either. So I blunder ahead worried that I’ll never get it “right.”

But I’m beginning to learn something about not knowing what to do and making a poor choice. That is — I don’t HAVE TO always get it right. I don’t have to always know what to do all the time. All I really
need to do is try my best, learn from the mistakes and go on.

The affable Dr. Leo Buscaglia once said, “No one gets out of this world alive, so the time to live, learn, care, share, celebrate, and love is now.” Which is pretty hard to do when you’re waiting for the
answers first.

So you got it wrong. You made a mistake. So what? Forgive yourself and try again. Even if you don’t get out of this world alive, you can get plenty of life out of this world if you’re not too worried about
always getting it right.

– Steve Goodier

And there again, is the truth of it. We are all going to make mistakes, it is one of those things that are inevitable, the solution is almost always going to come down to realizing what we have done, making amends if necessary, and then forgiving ourselves and moving on. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Something to pray for

In this piece, Steve shares a wisdom deeper even than he knows I think.

WHAT I PRAY FOR

Many years ago I found a short story about Mahatma Gandhi that I have gone back to several times. It has given me hope and courage. Even if you are not one to pray, I think you will discover that it is useful.

We remember Gandhi as a leader in India’s struggle for independence. It is hardly an exaggeration to say that he brought the British Empire to its knees without firing a shot. He was a small man of great courage. His non-violent resistance was fraught with danger and the cause eventually claimed his life.

Gandhi once spoke about the source of his courage. He related a story about an incident that occurred in South Africa. There was a law directed expressly against Indians in South Africa that he had gone
there to oppose. His ship was met by a hostile mob that had come with the announced intention of lynching him. Gandhi was advised to stay on board for his own physical safety. But he went ashore nevertheless.

When later asked why he made such a dangerous decision, he explained, “I was stoned and kicked and beaten a good deal; but I had not prayed for safety, but for the courage to face the mob, and that courage came and did not fail me.”

I believe he went after the right thing.

Like you, I know what it is to be afraid. I’m afraid of accidental injury, dismemberment or death. I’ve been afraid of a pending medical diagnosis. There must be a million different faces to the fears of
life.

I’m tempted at these times to hope for, and pray for, a way to avoid the danger ahead. I want to be safe, secure and healthy. But none of us is always safe, secure or healthy. So, like Gandhi, I think the
best prayer is for courage to face whatever life may bring. And I am convinced that the courage will come and not fail me.

– Steve Goodier

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Everything Counts

EVERYTHING COUNTS

Early 20th Century African-American poet Countee Cullen spent the summer of his eighth year in Baltimore, Maryland. Shortly after he arrived he noticed a little white boy staring at him. Countee smiled,
but the little boy did not smile back. Instead, he stuck out his tongue and called him a hurtful, racial slur.

Cullen later wrote a poem that included his recollection of the summer when he was eight. In it, he says this:

“I saw the whole of Baltimore
from May until September.
Of everything that happened there
that’s all I can remember.”

The white child likely soon forgot the episode. And he probably never was aware of the pain he inflicted on the young stranger. But the truth is… everything counts. EVERYTHING. Everything we do and everything we say. Everything helps or hurts; everything adds to or takes away from someone else.

Educator and writer Leo Buscaglia put it like this: “The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no tickertape parades for us, no monuments created
in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It’s overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love
felt.”

How truly amazing life can be when we know that… EVERYTHING COUNTS.

– Steve Goodier

And, the truth of it is, that it does. Though not in the way most of might think. There is no cosmic scorekeeper, only the truth of our own hearts.

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

The Real You - Let Yourself Shine

Another of Steve’s masterpieces, about the truth of us, our essence, and the light we all are within.

THE REAL YOU

One woman describes herself as “Five feet, three inches tall and pleasingly plump.” After she had a minor accident, her mother accompanied her to the hospital emergency room. The admitting nurse asked for her height and weight, and she blurted out, “Five-foot- eight, 125 pounds.”

The nurse pondered over this information and looked over the patient. Then the woman’s mother leaned over to her and gently chided, “Sweetheart, this is not the Internet.”

If you could change your appearance in life as easily as you can make one up on the Internet, would you remake yourself? It’s tempting to think so. We live in an age when most of us are increasingly dissatisfied with our bodies. We want liposuction, face lifts, tummy tucks, silicon implants and cosmetic surgery - too often for no other reason than to look like someone else!

And don’t think I am only talking about women. Men too place great emphasis on their bodies. Studies show that in 1972, one in six men didn’t like their appearance; today, almost 50% of men surveyed
reported being unhappy with their looks.

Of course, our bodies keep changing. I have less hair on top than twenty years ago. An older man who happens to be bald looked at my head recently and said, “It looks like you go to the same barber as I
do.”

According to the book THE ADONIS COMPLEX (The Free Press, 2000), more and more men are feeling insecure about their appearance. In 1996, over 700,000 men had some cosmetic surgery - often in an unhealthy attempt to fix a perceived flaw that nobody else noticed. Eating disorders and steroid abuse are common among males.

The book’s authors Harrison Pope, Katharine Phillips, and Robert Olivardia did an experiment in which men were asked to take a computer image of an ordinary man and add muscle mass to him until he was the size these men wanted to be. On average, the men packed about 28 more pounds of muscle mass on the computer image; women, on the other hand, only added a negligible amount of muscles to the image to create their ideal guy.

Poet Khalil Gibran said, “Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” When you and I choose to believe that our most attractive qualities lie within, we can let go of those unrealistic expectations of our bodies.

Let’s care for our bodies; we’ll keep them for the rest of our lives. Let’s be thankful for them and treat them well.

But remember, the real you, the essence of you, cannot be improved by a bottle or a pill or a salon. It is a beautiful and glorious light shining from your heart to the heart of the world. Cherish the real you - it’s pretty terrific. And let it shine

– Steve Goodier

May you all shine forever, much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

I know it has been awhile. :^)

And I can’t exactly promise that it will be better soon, or more frequent I should say. I AM still reading but that isn’t the reason I’ve not been writing. I’m putting two or three of Steve Goodier’s newsletters in here today, for a reason. Each speaks to something that has been in my ear, my heart and my mind for the past several weeks. I’ve had a major life change. I’ve been living alone, but for Cisco who is not really all that demanding a life partner, until this past weekend when my son, Evan, moved in with me. His two children will be with us some good part of the time as well. We are still sorting things out and will be for a while. I don’t know how long he will be here and neither does he. As far as that goes he is welcome wherever I am as long as I live, that isn’t the issue here, but it is the truth. So look over this first piece from Steve, I’ll be along following it. :^)

SOLVING OUR GREATEST PROBLEMS

We have great problems. Insurmountable problems! But we can solve even our most difficult problems if we work together.

Some of the greatest problems we face today are concerned with the gradual destruction of our environment through over-use and abuse of our resources. Unsightly brown clouds; wildlife extinctions; water that can’t be consumed; the disappearance of ancient glaciers. these problems all seem so huge.

So my family does what we can. We take cloth bags to the grocery store instead of using paper or plastic grocery sacks. We buy organic foods when possible. We walk where we don’t have to drive. Our home, like many of yours, is filled with compact fluorescent bulbs and we use water saving faucets.

But does it do any good? When I am the only one in line at the grocery store with cloth bags, am I doing any good? Does my walking to the store or shivering under the drizzle of my anemic shower head
make any real difference to the world?

I recently learned something about flamingos - which probably behave like many migrating birds. These exquisite birds flock in huge groups of a thousand or more. Every year, when the time comes for migration, a few flamingos start the process by taking off from the lake. But none of the others seem to notice, so the tiny group returns.

However, the next day they try again. This time a few more struggle along with them, but the vast majority still pay no attention, so these pioneers come back.

The trend continues for several more days. Every time a few more birds join in but, since the thousands of others still take no notice, the great migration plan is once more aborted.

Then one day something changes. The same small group of birds once again takes wing and a tiny number more join in, just as before. And this time their total number, though still quite small, is enough to
tip the balance. As one, the whole flock takes flight and the migration begins. What a spectacular sight it must be - thousands of flamingos taking to the sky at once!

A few CAN make a difference. It’s true that all of the great problems of the world have been solved because of the persistent efforts of a few.

Anthropologist Margaret Mead put it like this: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.”

If you believe in a cause, don’t give up! Others will someday take notice and together we will solve even our greatest problems.

– Steve Goodier

One of the things Jenna has had me listening to in the last month is a very old CD I bought by a young child named Billy Gillman who was 11 when he recorded it. Yes, 11. One Voice. This song has a line in it that says “One dream can change the world, so keep believing until you find your way.” I’ve had a little trouble with that in my life, the dream is always there, but it doesn’t always seem within reach. I’m working on that and I have help, of course, she who sings to me every day. The point Steve makes above is relevant to all of us, every day. If you believe in something, or someone, don’t give up, don’t EVER give up, because in the end, we will solve our greatest problems and overcome our greatest fears. That is a dream worth holding onto, don’t you think? much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Against the Wind

I’m still reading. But, at least, at last, I know why. I’m building something, creating something in a way, jen’s shown me what and why and eventually I’ll talk here about all that. That is for then, for now, I’m still just running against the wind, but loving it completely. So two songs I’d like to share with you tonight, the first is self-explanatory, lol. And I’ll explain the second. :^)

Against the Wind

This second song is one I heard for the first time last week. It had a profound effect on me. It has many levels and it is perfectly beautiful. It is by an acoustic group named Dala, they have it on their My Space page, Dalagirls, I think if you listen to it you will as enthralled as I am. And I hope see the possibilities that spring from within it.

Fortress
I will watch you disappear
From my fortress over here
And I will never understand
Every heart’s a foreign land

CHORUS
And I’m so afraid to
So afraid to
Love you

I have turned my eyes away
From the harsh light of your day
And I have slept through pouring rain
It was all that kept me sane

chorus

I can’t help where I’ve come from
I can’t help that I’m so numb
I’m dying for my city lights
You’re dying from your country life

chorus

I have drawn lines in the sand
To remind us where we stand
And I’ll build castles while you thirst
They’ll fall down but you’ll fall first

We are each a foreign land, each brave soul who has taken the step from behind the veil into this wonderland of the relative universe. We all draw our lines in the sand and build our castles well. What we need learn and have not yet is that when the wind blows away the lines and knocks down our castles of sand, is when we need each most. To have and to hold, each other, forever and ever, amen. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Bette Davis Eyes

Okay so someone out there needs to tell me what the hell this means. I am going to tell you a slightly weird story and I know someone out there has the answer, just not who. All day today, I have had this phrase, I didn’t know it was a song, running through my head.

Bette Davis Eyes

And I don’t know what it means. Someone does. Tell me. It is important. Why? Well that I cannot tell you, unless you have the key. much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Limbo

I’m a little crabby about this. That might show through. First though, some context, Michael Moore’s, Sicko. That is where I start. The rest of the world can do this, why can’t we?

This is intensely personal. I might even use bad language. So watch yourselves. :^). If you have been to my main site, if you got here from there, you will know I had two sons. Evan, born 7/31/74, 7 lbs, 14 ounces, and Brandon, born 1/7/76 7 lbs, 12 1/2 ounces. 10:16 pm for Evan and 8:02 for Brandon. Evan is still with me. Brandon committed suicide February 11, 1997 just after 2 pm. I know this because although when I got to the hospital, he was hooked up to machinery, and looked perfectly normal, but for the bandage around his head, the next morning when his mother insisted someone TELL her when her son died, a rather unfeeling practitioner said, the moment he put the gun to his head. No one bothered to tell us that, that night. No one said he was gone. There were these buzzing people who kept talking to us about organ donation, but NO ONE said he was dead, gone. And, I wanted those people to go away. They had no heart, no soul, they were gardeners, tending a harvest. Not people mourning our son. I know they had a noble purpose, but they disgusted me.

We, our two families and Brandon’s friends, spent that night in a place I have too often found myself and do, in a way, again.

Wiki defines it as: “In Roman Catholic theology, In Roman Catholic theology, Limbo (Latin limbus, edge or boundary, referring to the “edge” of Hell) is a hypothetical afterlife condition of those who die in original sin without being assigned to the Hell of the damned (gehenna). Limbo is not an official doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church or any other. Medieval theologians described the underworld (”hell”, “hades”, “infernum”) as divided into four distinct underworlds: hell of the damned (which some call gehenna), purgatory, limbo of the fathers, and limbo of infants. Limbo (Latin limbus, edge or boundary, referring to the “edge” of Hell) is a hypothetical afterlife condition of those who die in original sin without being assigned to the Hell of the damned (gehenna). Limbo is not an official doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church or any other. Medieval theologians described the underworld (”hell”, “hades”, “infernum”) as divided into four distinct underworlds: hell of the damned (which some call gehenna), purgatory, limbo of the fathers, and limbo of infants.”

I’m not Roman Catholic, but Neale Walsch was raised in that tradition. My own was simpler, you went to Heaven or you went to hell. But limbo is where I find myself, where I spent that night 11 plus years ago and where I’ve spent most nights ever since. Wandering, wondering, thinking. It occurs to me that all conditions possible from Heaven to Hell and whatever other number of postulates one might put between them can, and probably do, exist right here on Earth, in simultaneity with each other, depending on the state and condition of ones life. I’m a little tired of limbo. Jen says it won’t last much longer and that really isn’t where I am anyway, but it IS what it feels like to me. It most certainly isn’t what I felt in the presence of the light globes, THAT condition I consider Heaven, or as close to it as I’ll ever come, I find it hard to even imagine a feeling better than that. And it isn’t one I’ve ever been able to duplicate here on earth. I suppose that may be by design. But if it is? I don’t like that part of the design because it occurs to me that this might be a very much nicer place if everyone had the taste of truth I’ve had. So, the question then becomes, why haven’t they? And the answer eludes me, thus limbo. Of which, as I mentioned, I’m very tired. It is what has been keeping me quiet these past weeks, this question, pondering it. No progress to report. Still here in limbo. And after a bit more pondering, a bit more reading, three things I am working on now, I’ll come back to this and the political season which is upon us once more. Soon, I hope. I’m quite a fast reader, it is the understanding of what I read that I wrestle with, try to put in some shape that makes sense to me. I’m finding that difficult but have hopes what I’m reading at the moment will help with that, that if I pour enough words into the threshing machine that is my mind, eventually a bale of knowledge will pop out. That’s usually what happens anyway. This time, well, I’ll wait see. Until then, much love, :^) gene

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Okay then

Now that I’ve gotten those out of me, or out of my way, though that doesn’t sound quite right, Steve Goodier is never someone to get out of your way, he is someone to cherish, I do have a couple things to rant about tonight.

There is an old saying, “there is something rotten in Denmark.” I have no idea how it originated and haven’t enough interest to go googling to find out. This is going to be, well, a prelude, though it may not always sound that way, to THE TRUTH of us. And, fair warning, that isn’t always going to be pretty. For what I appear to be, a relatively mellow guy, sort of the guy next door, I have strong opinions and I’m going to share them here. We’re coming back to the books (CWG, 1&2), lol, but we’re going beyond them as well. I have to chuckle here. Because as much as I admire Neale Donald Walsch, in book 1, he said there would be three. 3. Three. And I believed him. You may notice that HERE, I only talk about books one and two. There is a reason. I admire Neale, he spoke the truth, although through his own filter, and he brought God to life for a lot of people. People who were left out of “traditional religion”, excluded from “traditional religion”, as if they didn’t exist. In those first two books, Neale brought ALL of us back to God. He brought us back to the truth of us. The truth we “forget” as we slip into the physical realm God created for us.

Now that isn’t surprising, or as surprising as one might think. God makes it quite clear in the beginning of book 1. If there is nothing else BUT God, how does God know he/she exists? If there is nothing but love, how does God know that? Well, the method God chose to find out is ingenious, and why shouldn’t it be? How can one know oneself as one thing without knowing anything else? And so He created the physical realm, in which we are presently ensconced. Here, it is easy to know what we are and what we are not. We can SEE and FEEL and TOUCH. I am not hot, because I know what hot is, giggle. And I’m not that. No, that is NOT where I’m going. Dirty minds. giggle. But that’s okay too. This story is about my 7th birthday. I’d never had a birthday party before. I started school at 5, first grade, the rule was September first but I was so close, the 7th, that they let me in. How I don’t know. But what that meant was that I was always the youngest and smallest of my class. I mean it worked out fine, I was intellectually ready, giggle, if that can be said about a first grader. It wasn’t then, like it is now, when children are expected to know things, like the alphabet, before starting school. It was just take ‘em as you get ‘em.

My school was a two room, 8 grade school, grades 1-4 in the “little” room and 5-8 in the “big” room. My class was 5 kids. Three girls, another boy and me. We got out 5 minutes early for recess and I spent those 5 minutes hiding from the other kids. I was terrified. All I knew were adults. And I found our “lessons” tedious, whatever we were told, I remembered. I didn’t realize I was different, really, though I had suspicions, until November when we began practicing our christmas presentation, which was a bunch of songs and several plays. We first graders weren’t expected to do much, just a few lines to memorize and then recite. That was when I first really understood I WAS different. We were standing in line to recite our lines, our first run-through, and I already knew mine. The kid next to me was SO nervous, he had NO idea what to say or do, and I thought, how could you not? And I made my first enemy, there’ll be more, giggle, cuz I am not nearly through, but I laughed, out loud, yep, a lol, because it was so easy. I read them, I knew them. I didn’t know it wasn’t like that for everyone else. And I thought he was making fun, but he wasn’t. That is a story that goes on a while and is not the purpose of this evening’s post. It was difficult, I don’t say it wasn’t, cuz he was bigger and stronger and made my life hell for a lot of years. But it still isn’t the point for tonight.

The point of this post, and I hope Neale doesn’t take this badly, because I don’t mean it that way, but he didn’t keep his bargain with God. Three books. And Jen told me to stop reading after two. Which I mostly did. I’ve read Book 3, and own a couple others, but, as she told me and in my experience after book two, they became more about Neale than God. And I am only interested in God. I have no idea how many there are now but someone showed me a book the other day, by Neale, called Happier Than God. He turned a miracle into a traveling sideshow.

Not alone, mind you. There are quite a few of what people would call “new age” writers. They all speak the same language. They all have the same message. And they have made quite a nice career out of endorsing each others books and seminars. If you pay attention, and I do, you will see that on the jacket of each new book, there will be lauding quotes from other authors, about how this particular book breaks new ground, etc. But if you pay attention, and I do, you will see that these people who are so enamored of this new work are all the same people. They recommend each others books and seminars. I do not cast aspersions here because each of these people have contributed to the global consciousness in important ways, nor do I castigate them for having made a career out of that. Whatever floats your boat. Yes, Mike, if ever you find this and read it, that is for you, giggle.

So we have this group of New Age authors, all with essentially the same message (okay this is THE weirdest thing, I feel like I am wearing a hat, giggle, it is jen, pressing hard on my crown chakra, and yes indeed the chakra system exists - it is one of those things that hold here and there, here and there, without which here and there could not exist, they’d be squooshed into one space) we are all really one. And that is the literal, physical truth, there IS only one of us, we are all born of the same parent, and as such, we are all one. Home isn’t like this place. Where a thing is here and another thing is there. Home is a place where love is all there is. And I have been blessed to see it. That is on my main sight. Gawd, given the amount of words you find here, you’d think this is it, and I wouldn’t blame you, but it isn’t. The truth of me is on the main site, so if you haven’t gone there, do. If you don’t mind. :^). Okay. Not done. But this is large. And so many other things happening. One of the most wonderful person I have ever met is going to give birth this weekend, Friday, I think. My remaining son, and if that makes him sound lesser, then you are reading this wrong, has enormous problems. We’ll talk about that stuff next. Cuz that will be health care, or lack of it. Coming soon to this location, lol, much love, :^) gene

Beauty

LOOKING FOR BEAUTY

Many people like me feel slightly passed over in a world that seems to place a high value on beauty. But a short poem by Anthony Ewell reminds us that physical attractiveness can be over-rated. He writes:

“As a beauty I am not a great star,
There are others more handsome by far.
But my face, I don’t mind it,
For I am behind it,
It’s the people in front who get the jar!”

Physically, maybe I’m not the stuff dreams are made of. And maybe, as the poem suggests, it doesn’t matter. Because I believe there is another kind of beauty in all of us that can be experienced by anybody who digs a little deeper.

Several times I have visited a natural wonder that is one of the largest and most spectacular of its kind in the world. Carlsbad Caverns is an immense series of limestone caves extending under much of southern New Mexico (USA). Native Americans took refuge in the gaping hole that is the main entrance, but they did not venture far. A hundred years ago settlers in the area were attracted to the opening by the awesome sight of hundreds of thousands of bats swarming from the hole every summer evening. Though a bat guano mining operation was set up, nobody explored much beyond the bat’s dwelling places.

Eventually, a cowboy name Jim White explored deeper. He returned with fantastic stories of gigantic subterranean chambers, spectacular cave formations and unbelievably stupendous sights. Even in 1915, after black and white photographs were taken of the caverns, many did not believe. The government sent skeptic Robert Holley to investigate in 1923. He wrote in his final report, “I am wholly conscious of the feebleness of my efforts to convey in words the deep conflicting emotions, the feeling of fear and awe, and the desire for an inspired understanding of the Divine Creator’s work which presents to the human eye such a complex aggregate of natural wonders.”

A whole new world - majestic, wondrous and awe-inspiring - lay hidden from view. Its unimagined beauty can only be experienced by exploring beneath the surface.

And so it is with people. I have found in people a unique inner beauty that can be discovered by exploring beneath the surface. They may not believe it is there themselves, but that does not mean it doesn’t exist.

Those outward looks we’re usually so self-conscious about don’t matter much. Who people really are may be hidden beneath the outer landscape like a magnificent subterranean palace. And when you care to scratch the surface a bit, you can discover what others have missed.

And you will be rewarded beyond measure.

– Steve Goodier

I gotta say, hmmm, to this one. Cuz I’m no beauty rock. :^). Gotta tell you this story, it fits. When my youngest son, Brandon, was six or so, one night he’d been out with his brother and the others in their age group, we lived in a really unique, and safe place for kids, then. Plus I could see them out my balcony window, lol. I was cooking supper when Brandon came in all breathless, unfortunately asthma, which I am going to talk about in the next post, has that affect, and said, “Dad! I have something for you!” I asked him what it was, hands behind his back and all, giggle, and he gave me this big smile and this rock. It’s, oh maybe 3 inches long and 2 deep. It looks like a piece of tar with little white marshmallows in it. I said, well, thank you, what is it? And he said, “its a beauty rock, dad, and I found it for you.” It has sat on a kitchen counter ever since. Though, at the moment, it is sitting on my computer desk. He’s been dead 11 years and four months. I’ve had this beauty rock for at least 36 years. I want it cremated with me. It’s been part of me forever, why shouldn’t it stay that way? Unless his brother wants it. His brother figures in my next post. I guess I’ve been saving them up and tonight they are spilling out. So, though I am myself no beauty, well, at least I’ve got a beauty rock! much love, :^) gene

A little more Steve

REAL LIBERATION

I had a remarkable conversation with a woman about physical limitations. Nancy was a sufferer of M.S. She could no longer walk and spent her waking hours in a wheelchair.

“I’m not ‘confined’ to the wheelchair,” she insisted one day. “It doesn’t confine me. It sets me free.”

I had never thought of it that way. And I have never referred to someone in a wheelchair since as being “confined.”

She asked me, “Do you want to know my reason for living?” It seemed like an abrupt change of subject, but I went with it.

“What is it?”

“To liberate people. To set them free.”

She must have studied my face and figured I needed more help. “It’s like me…before I got my wheelchair, I had trouble getting around,” she explained. “Now I can go places. But other people may be trapped in different ways. So however I can free people, I want to do it.”

“People speak of being ’shut in,’” she continued. “People who have difficulty leaving a room or a house or a bed are not ’shut in.’ They’re ’shut out’ — shut out of activities and shut out of people’s lives. So I try to help people find some freedom, however I can.”

I wonder how she’d handle my limitations, though. I can get around all right, but I hold myself back by my thinking. I say, “We’ll never do that!” or “I just don’t believe that is possible” and later find that
somebody proved me wrong. It’s my beliefs and attitudes that cause some of my biggest problems. They are as limiting to me as Nancy’s disease is to her.

“Almost everybody walks around with a vast burden of imaginary limitations inside his head,” says author J. H. Brennan. “While the burden remains, personal success is as difficult to achieve as the conquest of Everest with a sack of rocks tied to your back.”

It IS a burden, isn’t it? Like a sack of rocks. Some people carry the burden that they will never be able to pursue a passion or achieve a cherished dream. And some tote around the idea that other people can
experience good things of life, or simply be happy, but they never will. Our thinking itself can be as much a burden as climbing a mountain with a sack of rocks tied to our backs.

When I feel “confined” by my thinking, I sometimes ponder these words from Darwin P. Kingsley, past president of New York Life Insurance Company:

“You have powers you never dreamed of.
You can do things you never thought you could do.
There are no limitations in what you can do except
the limitations of your own mind.”

Now THAT sets me free! Free to live. Free to risk. Free to move
forward. Free to be…me.

It’s real liberation.

– Steve Goodier

It is, isn’t it? That last little bit? We all have powers we’ve never dreamed of and so never use, it never even occurs to us to try. Well, some of us are going to be in for a shock, giggle. One of these fine days. much love :^) gene

Hello, its been a while

It has been a while and I have a lot to say. Not sure I’ll say it all tonight but over the next few days, a few things are going to come out. :^) So, as I sat down, jen started singing me a song. This is not how I’d planned to open, but she’s never wrong and I’m rarely right, so we’ll do this her way. :^) Bet this is on YouTube, brb, Hello, its been a while. If you’d like to listen to an oldie, but a goodie, click the link. :^)

Yeah, it’s been a while
Not much, how about you
I’m not sure why I called
I guess I really just wanted to talk to you

And I was thinkin’ maybe later on
We could get together for a while
It’s been such a long time
And I really do miss your smile

I’m not talking about movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

We could go walkin’ through a windy park
Take a drive along the beach
Or stay at home and watch TV
You see it really doesn’t matter much to me

I’m not talking about movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

I won’t ask for promises
So you don’t have to lie
We’ve both played that game before
Say I love you then say goodbye

I’m not talking about movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

I’m not talking about movin’ in
And I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowin’ the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight

And so we shall. I’ve a lot to say. But before I do, I want to share a couple things from Steve Goodier, who has been often featured, with permission, here.

A MONSTER TO HUG

One couple spent a holiday driving in the mountains. “Every time you race around one of those narrow curves,” exclaimed the wife, “I just get terrified.”

“Then do what I do,” suggested her husband. “Close your eyes!”

We are all afraid at times, but closing our eyes may not be the best way through fear. I’ve found it better to open my eyes and try to experience those fears.

You’ve heard of facing your fears; how about embracing them?

I think one man’s experience with fear can help.

In 1972 David Miln Smith had such an opportunity. Smith, an adventurer, author and professional speaker, decided to spend a night alone in the famous St. Michael’s Cave on the island of Gibraltar as a test of courage. In his book HUG THAT MONSTER (Andrews and McMeel, 1996), he tells of hearing strange sounds all around him as he lay there in the pitch-black, damp, deserted cave. Most frightening was
the fact that he came to believe he was not alone!

Fear became panic and he was afraid he was losing his mind. Then suddenly, as he was approaching his psychological breaking point, Smith thought to himself, “Whatever the monster looks like, I will hug it.” That simple, almost silly thought brought great relief to his restless mind. He soon fell into a deep and peaceful sleep until morning. He learned that embracing his fear, literally or figuratively, allowed him to subdue it.

We each have our nights of fear, don’t we? We all encounter monsters of some sort. We may fear spiders or insects, heights or crowds, abandonment or loneliness, the future or death. And most of us are occasionally visited by shadows of these monsters in the dark of night.

The next time you’re afraid, try “hugging the monster.” Face it and embrace it. It’s hard to feel afraid of something you’re hugging! And you just might be surprised at how quickly it slips away and at how
confident you begin to feel.

That beautiful spirit Eleanor Roosevelt said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face.” But after looking it in the face, how about embracing it? Just imagine yourself putting your arms around whatever is keeping you awake in the night. Make it your friend. because it is! Whatever you fear, once faced and embraced, will actually make you a better person.

Now. do you have a monster to hug?

– Steve Goodier

I’m not sure about you but I do. But this is enough for one post, after all, the rule is keep them short, giggle. I’m not very good with rules. Never have been. And that isn’t going to improve, I’m afraid. No, that isn’t true, I’m not afraid in the least, I’ll just hug my monster. much love, :^) gene

The Dog, The Cat and The Rat

I know I’ve been quiet. I’ve been, I am, both within and reading, for me one goes with the other and it isn’t possible to do one without the other, not really. So I’ll be bursting out here one of these days soon, but I got something in the mail today that really caught my eye. Take a look at this.
The Dog, The Cat and The Rat

Now this from Steve Goodier:

GOD LOVES VARIETY
I like the story about three ministers and a priest who played golf
together every week. They decided to visit each other’s churches. So
the following day, the three ministers showed up at an early morning
mass at their friend’s church. There were no empty pews, so they
stood in the back.

When the priest saw them, he whispered to the little acolyte, “Get
three chairs for the Protestants! ” The boy looked stunned and sat
down.

The priest pointed in the back to where the clergymen were standing
and repeated, “Get three chairs for the Protestants. ” The confused
boy still stared back blankly.

Exasperated, the priest said emphatically, “Please! Get three chairs
for the Protestants! “

The dismayed acolyte stood before the congregation and announced,
“Ladies and gentlemen. This is the first time this has ever been done
in a Catholic church, but let’s all stand and give three cheers for
the Protestants! “

Perhaps it’s time to give three cheers to those of another faith. And
while we’re at it, let’s applaud those of other cultures and races,
too! What a beautiful world it is when all are truly part of one
glorious family! And after all, if God doesn’t love variety, why is
there so much of it?

– Steve Goodier

And now this from me. If THEY can do it, why can’t we all? I mean all of us of all species, of all faiths and traditions. Who will be the first lamb to lie down with the lion? I volunteer. :^) And one of these fine days, I’ll show you what I mean, giggle. much love, :^) gene

Father’s Day

Your Horoscope for JUNE 15, 2008

You have a spiritual side that you don’t often get to express, GENE. But today you could find yourself moved to pray or give thanks for something. The energy of the day is gentle and sweet, encouraging you to open your heart and feel your emotions fully. In doing so, you could realize something about yourself that has been hidden until now. Don’t be afraid of this discovery, as it could lead you forward in positive directions.

Well, they got the first line right anyway. It is true enough that though only part of me I am interested in, really, is the spiritual side, but on that side I feel as frustrated, as stymied, as I do on every other side. This should be, has been, a day of real joy for me in years gone by, losing Brandon, took a lot of the joy out of this day. Worrying about my remaining son seems to have taken the rest of it. He is, has been, going through some very hard times with his health and other things, and worry about him has me on the verge of losing myself. That shouldn’t be as difficult to understand as it sounds, but on this day I feel on the verge of tears, not smiles. I am more than a little worried that this may be my last father’s day with Cisco. There is no part of my life that is not under siege at this time, not what I had hoped for at this age. In a lot of ways, I already feel, as did my maternal grandfather who did not pass until he was 95, that I’ve already seen and done what I came here for and am ready to go back home. I’ve seen enough of what love is not, to appreciate fully a place where love is all there is. This is not that place.

I’ve always admired Tim Russert, who died at my age on Friday past, though I had no idea we were the same age. It seems odd that one who still had so much to give is gone and I who have nothing left but an emptiness inside I cannot shake, remain. The constant question I have of why me? Brings neither answers, nor comfort. I live within and like not what I see there. Life is such a conundrum. Or at least life here is. I think I’ll take Cisco for a walk, though even that I need be careful with, at 12 1/2 he still thinks he can do everything and tries. And I can’t carry him back home, so we won’t wander far. Perhaps a long bike ride this afternoon will clear my mind, feed my soul and restore some balance. Because at the moment I feel I am on a teeter totter and there is no one on the other end. I am hoping most fathers are have a better day.

This from Holiday Mathis whom I see every day. Perhaps some unimagining is in order. That I should be good at…

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). The final count is in. Your stars are claiming that your obstacles are 90 percent imagined. All you have to do is un-imagine them and you’re free to move forward. More good news: that’s as easy as it sounds.

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Tim Russert

Today, I grieve. I didn’t know Tim Russert, we share the same age, and in some ways I would gladly change places with him, because I think he had a lot left to say. And I don’t. Not of the import and meaning with which he conducted every interview, imbued into every statement. A man of consciousness is gone. And I will miss him. Blessed be, Tim. much love, :^) gene

What do you dream of?

This comes from Steve Goodier, as so often, one of my posts seems to begin, lol. I so admire him though one might think we would have little in common, he being a minister of the Christian faith, and me, well, something, someone, outside of that tradition at this point in my life though I was raised in it. Steve has the wonderful knack of finding stories that cut across religions, traditions, philosophies and present timeless truths. That’s why I enjoy him so much. And I should here say, I am not new to him. I have been receiving his newsletter since its inception, or very nearly, 10 plus years, way back when it was a daily thing. He needed to cut back several years ago and now publishes 1 to 3 times a week at most. I treasured his wisdom and stories then and I do still. We are fellow souls though we follow different paths, our destinations are the same. So enjoy this little piece, it is amusing and true. I’ll be back after it for a minute or two. :^)

DREAM SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL

A mother of a vivacious five-year-old just returned from a meeting of
the National Organization for Women. Stirred by exciting dreams for
the possibilities of womanhood, she asked her daughter what she wanted
to be when she grew up. Little Lisa quickly answered, “A nurse.”

There was a time when nursing was thought of as a woman’s profession
and the answer somehow seemed not to satisfy. She had, after all, just
returned from a NOW conference.

“You can be anything you want to be,” she reminded her daughter. “You
can be a lawyer, a surgeon, a banker, president of the country - you
can be anything.”

“Anything?” Lisa asked.

“Anything!” her mother smiled.

“I know,” Lisa said. “I want to be a horse!”

Lisa’s dream may need some refinement, but there is plenty of time for
that. When do we quit dreaming about the future? When do we resign
ourselves to simply replaying dreams from the past?

Maybe her dream needs to mature a bit, but would you rather have the
optimism of a five-year-old girl who wants to be a horse, or the
pessimism of an adult who says in despair, “I can’t be anything at
all”?

Teddy Roosevelt said, “Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on
the ground.” I believe that is the way to make those dreams come true.
It begins with looking up and dreaming something beautiful.

– Steve Goodier

I would most certainly rather have the optimism of a five-year-old girl who wants to be a horse that the pessimism of an adult who has lost the ability to believe in him/herself. If ever there comes a time in my life when I find myself simply replaying dreams from the past, I will be ready to go home. For me, it is Jenna who keeps me on track and focused, who does not let me slip into, what would be easy for me, the trap of thinking my life is over and there is nothing yet to achieve or learn that I have any interest in. She does this for me. I cannot do it for myself. Left to my own devices, I slide backward, but she never lets me slide far. In all honesty, I could not live this life without her. She smiles within me, YES, I can feel that, and says thank you, honey, but it really is not me, it is you. Uh huh. One of us knows better. Giggle. I do so trust her though. I’m going to tell here a little story which I shared with my son the other day. As an example of how things work with jen and I.

I have been paying bills for a lot of years, I guess close to 40 now. They always want you to include their little tear off statement, that hasn’t changed over the years, and they provide a window envelope in which to put your check and the statement. On the back of each envelope is advice, I sort of always took them as commands, which means I ignored them, I quit taking orders the day I was discharged from the Army, lol. And, since there was a statement which had my account number on it IN the envelope, I saw no reason to write my account number on my check too, though they always suggested I do so. I also NEVER bothered to fill in my address on the front of their envelope, it was a WINDOW, THEIR address was plain as day, why should I spend time writing on the envelope what was already inside? So I didn’t do that either. One thing I did do, was when I dropped my stack of envelopes in the mail slot, I checked each one to be sure I had a stamp on it. Just a long-standing habit. This system, for me, has worked perfectly for 40 years.

However, three years ago, things began to change a bit. Creditors began offering deals. Six months with no interest, but if you missed a payment, they’d add ALL of the interest, at some ridiculous rate, on and would NOT take it off. I know that most people will mess up at least once and that is how those companies make their money - no one is in business to give money away. The first of those things I did was three years, forget now what it was, but I made all the payments on time. Then the next month I had used the card for a meal or something and missed the payment date by a DAY. And they charged me this huge late fee. Annoyed me, that did. Yes, that is Yoda speaking, giggle. So I canceled that account immediately. And determined to NEVER make that mistake again. But I was STILL going to do it on my own terms. Not going to write account numbers on my check that were already on the piece of paper enclosed with it. Not going to write my name and address outside when they were all over inside.

Then. Giggle. I saw this offer for an HDTV, which I knew I wanted and would eventually need, and my existing tv was 11 years old, from Circuit City. I guess it is okay to mention them here, I’ve bought many things from them and have never been disappointed. I HAVE been disappointed with my purchases from time to time - once I bought a computer, didn’t like it took it back, got another, no trouble, didn’t like THAT one either, took it back, and got another, all cheerfully on their part. I mean, hell, I found me annoying but they never did. :^). To my face. Which IS what counts. To me. :^). Anyway, this offer was two years, no interest, BUT if you messed up, all of the interest and fees would be added back on, 22%. Which made me shudder. Because interest rates that high just seem usurious to me and unfair, and just plain wrong. But I was determined. I divided up the price and sent them 1/24th of it faithfully, always at least two weeks early - not fooling ME twice, giggle. And I paid it off. That tv was wonderful and it sits now downstairs, covered in a foam blanket because I am giving it, have given it to my son, once he finds a place to call his own. I’ve purchased computers, printers and furniture on these same terms. Some of them are no payment, no interest for 12 months, but if you haven’t paid it off by then, interest and fees are added on back to the beginning. I am able to manage these payments, I know many people are not.

We live in a paycheck to paycheck world, most of us. The super rich, the ceo’s, the executives, the oil barons, THOSE people do not. They fly their friends to Paris for their wife’s birthday party. THAT is not the world I live in. Nor is it the world I came here to touch. (oops, but that stays, that was jen, not me) I wish she would WARN me when she is going to do that, just take over my fingers, lol, but in all truth, I think my fingers have always been hers. And I’m okay with that. Words appear on the screen, or on paper when I was younger, and I had no idea where they came from, that I knew those things, or knew them so well. She’s never not been with me. My faith now is hers, she says she will never not be with me. And I’m glad of that. Because truth be told, I’m not really all that good with life here. A lot of it pisses me off. Poverty does, starvation does, AIDS does, CEO’s do. A lot. Were it not for her, I might be a terrorist, only in the Lone Ranger style, giggle. Because THAT is what I grew up with. Good fights evil and no matter the struggle, in the end, good wins. That doesn’t seem as certain anymore. Though jen says it is. And I believe her.

So. This last set of bills I wrote out last week. I did everything as I have been doing for 40 years. Sat down with what was due and what I had and wrote checks, put them in envelopes (OH, once this interest free thing began I did make a change, I started writing my account number in the info line on checks - just so they couldn’t say I made a mistake), put a stamp on each envelope, checked the bill off my list. But THIS night, she insisted I write my address on each envelope. I resisted. I was NOT going to do that. But the first time she said it, I’d only done like four bills, so I thought, chit, and just did it. But then there were like 9 more envelopes and I didn’t want to do that and she just said, honey, please? Yes, she uses appellations, which is nice because no one else in my life does, lol, and i just didn’t resist, just did it. The next morning I took them with me, dropped them in a mail slot in the building next to the one I work in, looked at EVERY envelope to be sure it had a stamp on it and went on my way. And on Tuesday, I got back in the mail, an envelope, with a little red post office stamp on it that said, the post office will not deliver mail without appropriate postage. I missed one. Somehow I missed one. I have never missed one before and never written my address on the outside of the envelope before either. This time I did because she said please and I missed stamping an envelope. And because I had written my return address on it, it got back to me in time for me to go online and pay it without incurring a late fee. I could not have remailed it and been sure it would have gotten there on time. And I already know credit companies give no one a break, not even if you’ve been a good customer for many years. Wait, there IS one FMC, but that is the only one, in my experience. And my experience is all I have, all any of us have. Last fall, September, my birth month, I missed scheduling my car payment. I get email notices every month and when I get it, I go there and schedule the payment. I have been doing that for almost 20 years, somehow I missed this one. It might have gone into spam, and I do look at that stuff before I delete it, just to be sure nothing real got caught in there, and THAT does happen, but I missed that. Well, FMC is Ford Motor Credit - I buy only Fords, American made and completely reliable vehicles, except for the first new car I EVER bought which was a piece of junk that wouldn’t start if the temperature dropped below 30 degrees, which, here, in Minnesota, happens occasionally, I have always driven Fords. I still do. Anyway, I got a call from FMC late in September, I had already scheduled the October payment from the email, and a polite young woman asked if there was a problem. I said no, why? Well, she said, she could see I had scheduled October’s payment, but I didn’t pay for September and was there a problem? I said WHAT? Remember, I am NOT the calm one, giggle. Said, wait a minute let me get on my computer. Came up here and looked and sure enough, September was empty. I said I can’t imagine how I missed that, I make the scheduled payment the day I get the email, I thought I had already done that. She was SO nice and so understanding. Had my history right there in front of her, saw that I had never missed one before, suggested the spam idea - which had not occurred to me until then, and said she would waive the late fee so that wouldn’t affect my credit, and I just made both payments THEN. So, there are people out there with hearts, and the authority to exercise, but to my knowledge, they only work for Ford, lol.

Now, there, if you’ve read my main site, and I hope you have and encourage you to do so if you have not, is an example of how jenna works within me. This is the part that many of you will struggle with. ALL of you have a “jenna” within you. NO one comes here alone. No one. EVER. When we are home we are a complete person, male/female combined, it is only when we come into relativity to experience what we may here, that we separate parts of ourselves. We do NOT come here as the trinity that we are as children of God. We come into duality thinking we are three, not knowing we are not. We think we are three because that is what religion has taught us, and in that religion has it right, partly, and to its own advantage. We think we are mind, body, and soul. But not one of us has EVER seen our soul. We think of it as the essence, the spark, that makes us alive, and in a small way that is true, but all we experience here is mind and body. Period. We “think” “assume” we have a “soul” because having this part of us that we cannot see and cannot touch, allows others, men mostly, to exercise power over us by persuading us that only THEY can touch our soul, speak for our soul, intercede with our creator. And in exchange we give them recognition, fame, and lots and lots of money.

One of the things I am here to tell you, through who I am, through what I have seen and jen says through what I will do (and here i giggle, cuz i am nothing special at all) is that you do not need an intercessor. Your connection to your creator is wireless, giggle. And you are never in a spot that is blacked out, or inaccessible. It is that you have been conditioned to believe you need an intercessor. But, please, think, we’ll use earthly terms because earth is what we know. WHAT parent will only talk to ONE of his/her children? What parent will only help his/her children, IF they ask appropriately, through another of those children? That is ridiculous. Patently ridiculous. THAT idea is of human creation, not divine. I have SEEN the other side, FELT the other side, that is all on my main site, and I tell you because jen tells me, there is NO divine creator that is unavailable to you. You simply need make contact. I can help you with that. I didn’t do it easily, but I did do it. And so can every one of you. NONE of you came here alone. You ALL know jenna. Not as her, but, in the same way. You each have another “half” of you, with you, watching you (not in a creepy way, I’ve already worked that out with jen, giggle - i mean there are things i do that i don’t want anyone to see, giggle, and she says everyone sees, but at home no one judges, period, not like we humans do, not in any way at all, what happens, happens, there is no seductive twist, or judgment as to how we do ANYTHING), loving you. And waiting for you to ask him/her what name he/she would like to be called by. THAT may well surprise you, giggle. I “knew” jenna’s name forever, if my oldest son had been a girl, he would have been named jenna, my ex and I agreed on that. That was HER reaching out to me THEN. It was another 27 years before the shouting into the night thing ended with her telling me who she was. I am telling YOU right here, right now. You have a guide. Our creator did not send us, let us, come here alone. You are not alone and have never been, will never be.

So how did we get from “i wanna be a horse” to here? Look closer. There IS a path. much love, :^) gene

Tonight? Deepskyblue:

If today brings even one choice your way
choose to be a bringer of the light :^) gene

Who Owns The Backyard?

Today, just a little piece from Steve Goodier. It takes a moment to think through what he is saying here, but the time is worth it. I’ll be back after it, for a moment.

Vicki Huffman, in PLUS LIVING (Harold Shaw Publishers, 1989),
tells about a man who loved to hunt and bought two pedigreed
setters that he trained to be fine bird dogs. He kept them in a
large, fenced pen in his backyard.

One morning he observed a little bulldog trotting down the alley
behind his home. It saw the two dogs and squeezed under the
fence. The man thought he should perhaps lock up the setters so
they wouldn’t hurt the little dog, but changed his mind. Maybe
they would “teach that bulldog a lesson,” he reasoned.

As he predicted, fur began to fly, and all of it was bulldog fur.
The feisty intruder soon had enough and squeezed back under the
fence to get away.

To the man’s surprise, the visitor returned again the next
morning. He crawled under the fence and once again took on the
tag-team of setters. And like the day before, he soon quit and
squeezed out of the pen.

The incident was repeated the following day, with the same
results.

The man left early the next morning on a business trip
and returned after several weeks. He asked his wife what finally
became of the bulldog.

“You won’t believe it,” she replied. “At the same time every day
that little dog came to the backyard and fought with our setters.
He never missed a day! It has come to the point now that when our
setters simply hear him snorting down the alley, they start
whining and run down into the basement. Then the little bulldog
struts around our backyard as if he owns it.”

That bulldog inspires me when it comes to managing problems. Not that
think I have to fight and impose my will on whatever is in my way. But
I appreciate that little dog’s perseverance. He persisted with his
problem until it disappeared.

Dale Carnegie made this observation: “Most of the important
things in the world have been accomplished by people who have
kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” In the
end, it’s the persistent bulldog that will own the backyard.

– Steve Goodier

Perseverance is way under-rated. Without, I don’t think I’d be here today. I don’t consider that I own this backyard, but I certainly own a piece of it. Me. I’ve been working on a book that I mentioned a couple weeks ago, The Political Teachings of Jesus, by a man named Tod Lindberg, and an interesting little book it is indeed. Eminently practical, and quite surprising. I’m going to talk about that book soon, but right smack in the middle of it, I got sidetracked with life, or a bit of it, and when I came back to that book, I found jen had other plans, and if you want to know about perseverance, you just need try resisting her when she sets her mind to some thing, giggle. It isn’t that she makes me, or CAN, do anything, it is more in the relentlessness nature of the gentle prodding, through images and words, that eventually causes me to “get” her point. Things have order in this universe, the universe itself could not exist without that order, and to get to where we want to go, wherever that might be, we too, must follow an orderly path, or the next thing we know we find ourselves right back where we started. If you’ve ever been lost in a woods, you will immediately understand what I mean. :^). So, though, I still do sometimes try to ignore those inner pushes, I’ve found over time, it is usually best to at least listen to what she has to say. So, she sent me off to another book, that she thought I needed to have in mind, as I read Tod Lindberg’s book. Because there is an agenda, she says, and to put things together “right”, and that can be very different for each of us, we need to first understand what it is we are about, THEN build the plan to get from here to there. All this is, really, is a handful of ideas she wants me to have in mind as I read these other ideas, she says it will help me put the new in perspective with what I already know. I get that. It isn’t normally a good idea to start with calculus, basic arithmetic needs come first, giggle. I’ve skipped that basic part many times in my life and I’m not sure that has ever actually been to my advantage, I at some point HAD to go back to the source, to the beginning, to really understand what it was I was building, creating, SEEING. So that part is about over I think and I’m ready to come back into Mr. Lindberg’s work but from a very different perspective than I had been reading it. I’ll explain all that some day. Maybe. Until then though, I hope you have enjoyed the little bulldog story and that the wait for me to catch up with jen, will have been worthwhile. And there is WAY more in that subject up there than one might think, fair warning. much love, :^) gene

Dreams

This will probably not be what you are expecting. Then again, maybe so. I have had this “dream” in my head for a very long time. I’m not sure I wrote about it on my main site even, though I may have, it is how my site got its name really, though it isn’t the name I wanted, lol. I’m not going to bother putting these two sketches I made many years ago into this document, nor am I going to put them on the main site. Why? My actual drawing skills, well, the average five year old is a better artist, my skills do not lie in that sort of talent. There is a reason for that, of course, a reason why my skills, though considerable in many areas, are not at a level that would give me cause to pursue THEM rather than the dream that is within me. If I were a great artist, and I would love to be, I’d do THAT and little other than that. I am not sure I’ve written of this part either, I know I’ve told some of you this, and I sometimes, like now, get a bit of a smudge between what I’ve said to one and what I’ve said to all. I still mean to get back to the main site and edit each page, I’ve done about a third - in the last 8 months, giggle.

See the thing is, when something grips me, an idea, when I was younger a video game, or a programming problem in dbase say, or a way to create a .bat file to make all 200 computers I was responsible for maintaining and keeping in sync, do something in particular, it would consume me. It could be a book I’d discover, an author I’d come across, somewhere in the middle of his, or her, work, love and then go make a list of everything he or she ever wrote, buy them and work my way through all of them systematically and thoroughly. Some things are like that but not to that degree. Many programming issues consumed me until I knew I was at a point where I “got” it and would then lose interest and move on to the next thing. That is how I created my main website last summer, and this blog, which, for the first time in print, I will say is mirrored elsewhere, not only as a backup but as a way to reach an entirely different audience. I read everything I could find on html, I read websites for dummies - which I found dumb, sorry, I found THE source of the internet, the W3 consortium, giggle, which sets the standards for how the internet works and the languages it uses AND which has hands on, 1-2-3 methods of learning programming languages necessary to creating and maintaining websites. Okay, now it wouldn’t be nice, if I did not give them their due. So I am going to put their url in here, but recognize that to JOIN this organization costs many thousands of dollars and many very prestigious institutions are part of it. You can find all that yourself if you’re interested. But if you are just interested in basic things, like how to create a web page, or how to make text do this, talk boldly in italics, then this is THE place to begin. Oh, and I was. But I didn’t get here first. I’ll tell you about that as we move along tonight. :^) W3 Schools

That is just the most marvelous site and if any of you ARE interested in building a website, I recommend you start there. I didn’t. And I wish I had. I took a more circuitous route which delayed my entrance to the WWW by a couple months at least, because I already KNEW what my main site had to look like and I needed a way to create THAT. When I say I knew. I mean I had a vision within of how it should look. I had that same vision when I found “pinkie” to create the graphics that are on my main page. I told her, a young Indian programmer doing freelance work for another company I am going to plug here for two reasons, one, they did exactly what I needed done, and two, they are headquartered in my ancestral homeland, Sweden, another NOT coincidence, they are
Get a Free Lancer.

I scrambled my brain trying to find someone to create the graphics that would show what I was trying to describe, to demonstrate what I had seen. I googled everything you can think of a